It spread all the way to me — little ol' Lauren. I even wrote about it on this very website that you're reading because I was like, "Heh?" "Wha?" "Who?"
I mean, could this be? HE CALLED HER HIS "BUNNY." The world seemed to make no sense and perfect sense all at the same time.
But then, at the end of the day, it was revealed that this "relationship" was just a publicity stunt for Jessica Lowndes' new music video, which stars Jon Lovitz.
And now, I need to get something off my chest. After a good night's rest and some reflection, I've realized something — I'M STILL MAD.
First of all, I'm still mad because yesterday I was forced to learn how to spell Jessica Lowndes' name.
And the proper way to say it. It's lounds. Not loun-des. Now you know too.
Third, because now Google thinks I want to google her all the time.
Fourth, because the URL to get to the video says "Early April Fools," and that's just not fair. There's no such thing as "early April Fools'." APRIL FOOLS' IS ONE DAY, AND ONE DAY ONLY. March is not a month for fooling. MARCH IS A SERIOUS MONTH.
Fifth, because even though I was confused by this relationship, I was also entertained. Now what am I going to do with my spare time if I'm not thinking about this interesting pairing?
Sixth, BECAUSE I'M STILL TALKING ABOUT IT, FUCKKKKKKKKK!
Seventh, because now this hoax has consumed me for almost 24 hours and clearly I can't get over being duped. This looked like love! I THOUGHT IT WAS LOVE.
And finally, because I really thought Jon Lovitz was the old cow to Jessica's young grass.
I can never trust anyone again. OK BYE!
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