1. Do you have a Christmas tree in your house?
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Great question, Janet. Let me put you on hold for a minute.
2. But you had one growing up, right?
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"Jerry, it's Mary again. She's asking about my childhood!"
3. Then what did you put your presents under on Christmas morning?
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UMMMMMMMMMM.
4. So your dad never dressed up as Santa?
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Santa...Santa. The name doesn't ring a bell.
5. But Santa still came to your house, right?
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YES! He stopped by for shabbos quite frequently.
6. Does that mean you didn't get any gifts growing up?
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You seem to be forgetting about the gift of life.
7. Wait, so you only got eight gifts in total?
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What do you mean ONLY?
8. Are you telling me you don't like egg nog?
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Shut up, Carl!
9. How about that Christmas ham though!
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That's a divisive question.
10. Who is the Jewish Santa?
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Hanukkah Harry, doi.
11. Ok but, you still celebrate Christmas right?
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🙃
12. Then, you must be jealous of everyone that *does* celebrates Christmas?
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TBH, on some level...not really.
13. Ok, but you definitely feel left out and like you're missing out on this big thing, right?
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Ever heard of an empty movie theater? ? ? ??
14. Do you hate when people say “Merry Christmas” instead of "Happy Holidays?"
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Only because I'd prefer to not be spoken to altogether!
15. Is Hanukkah like the Jewish Christmas?
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Kind of but it's more like the Jewish Hanukkah.
16. Do you like Christmas music?
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I love Mariah Carey!
17. Are you gonna eat Chinese food on Christmas day?
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ACTUALLY YEAH.
18. What's your favorite Christmas hymn?
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??? ? ? ?? ? ?? ?