1. Once upon a time in a dark, dark world (the year 2003) David Beckham wore these pants.
2. THESE. PANTS.
3. Whose crotch is longer than a footlong sub.
4. Whose pants have stray seams all over the legs.
5. Whose cuffs are flowing over his shoes like a flooded river.
6. IT WAS MADNESS. IT WAS A SAD TIME FOR EVERYONE.
7. He felt so bad about the pants he offered someone roses to apologize for them.
8. But they can’t be forgiven.
9. The End.
- One of the nation's top legal groups is seeking a wide array of records from four federal agencies to challenge Trump's potential business conflicts.
- Notorious Mexican drug lord Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán has been extradited to the United States to face multiple charges.
- The turnout at Trump's inaugural concert was much smaller compared to the crowd that showed up for Obama's 2009 celebration.
- Gingers rejoice! A redhead emoji may be coming your way soon 🙌