1. Before today you had no idea you wanted purple pants with a matching purple hooded jacket.
2. BUT THAT WAS YESTERDAY. TODAY IS DIFFERENT.
3. TODAY YOU WANT TO WEAR THIS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
4. TODAY YOU THROW ALL YOUR OTHER CLOTHES IN THE TRASH.
5. TODAY IS THE DAY OF THE PURPSUIT. AMEN.
6. The End.
- Top legal scholars will be filing the 1st major lawsuit against President Donald Trump's alleged business conflicts on Monday.
- "Welcome to the movement": Women's March on Washington organizers are working tirelessly to make sure first-time marchers stick around ✊
- A mass grave in Mexico contained the remains of 56 people, many of whom went missing in 2010, authorities said Sunday.
- The New England Patriots are heading to the Super Bowl yet again. They'll play the Atlanta Falcons on Feb. 5 🏈