1. This is Bradley Cooper, not John Krasinski. But John is coming. This is just to show you that Bradley Cooper without his shirt on is meh.
2. I mean, yeah, he looks good. His sunglasses are on. Things are in place. All is fine.
BUT THINGS ARE ABOUT TO HEAT UP.
3. Because John Krasinski has entered the picture. Literally. Like, literally literally entered the picture. He is now in frame.
4. And you fainted. I fainted. We are all on the floor because we all just fainted.
5. He laughs in Bradley Cooper’s face because he is overwhelmingly glorious.
6. He holds his towel in his arms. The towel touches his chest.
7. The towel gets flung to release the sand, and John smiles. His torso exposed. His arms are up.
8. You look back at Bradley and he’s doing this.
9. So you go back to John. Standing there. Exposed.
10. The magnetic poles of the Earth shift.
11. His bare sternum catches your eye and it’s heavenly.
12. John has never nonverbally spoken to you like this.
13. And what he’s saying (nonverbally) is nice.
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