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How Carrie Bradshaw Are You?

You know you are TOTALLY a Carrie. Right????

Posted on
  1. Check
    Bought shoes
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    Bought a bag
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    Bought food
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    ...specifically, a croissant
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    Used a computer
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    Thought your computer could see you
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    Worn heels
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    Accidentally "fell into Dior" and bought thousands of dollars worth of stuff
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    Dyed your hair a different color than your natural hair
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    Had a boyfriend/girlfriend
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    Been broken up with on a post it
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    Smoked a doobie (that means pot)
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    Smoked a doobie literally in front of a policeman
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    Gotten arrested after smoking that doobie
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    Thought you were being cool when you said "doobie"
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    Lived in an apartment in New York City
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    Had many people wonder how you afforded your apartment
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    Felt that clothes were more important than food
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    Kissed someone
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    Had sex with someone
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    Called your significant other by their last name throughout your entire relationship
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    Been to the Hamptons
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    Cheated on your significant other
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    Made a pun
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    Made two puns in one sentence
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    Made three puns in under five minutes
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    Built a career on your puns
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    Bought magazines, like Vogue, instead of eating food to sustain your life
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    Realized that your hair has gotten progressivly less curly over the last several years of your life
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    Gone to brunch with friends
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    Gone to brunch with friends and made sexual inuendos the whole time
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    Smoked a cigarette
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    Run into your ex...
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    ...that you cheated on...
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    ...WITH HIS NEW BABY!!!...
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    ...AND THEN YEARS LATER, IN THE MOVIE VERSION OF YOUR LIFE YOU SEE HIM IN ABU DHABI!!!
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    Complained about your friends...
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    ...but loved them anyway because they are your besties for life
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    Taken bad advice
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    Given bad advice
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    Had a cocktail
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    Seriously and totally non-ironically said that your favorite cocktail is a Cosmopolitan
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    Drank vodka
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    Referred to vodka as "more nothing please"
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    Worn a tutu in public
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    Worn other clothes in public that you probably shouldn't have
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    Been mistakenly identified as stylish for a large portion of your life that you actually probably weren't
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    Written a book
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    Written TWO books!
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    Sent an email
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    Forgotten your email password
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    Slept with somebody that you met in the therapist's office
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    Slept with somebody that ejaculates prematurely
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    Slept with somebody that is Russian
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    Slept with someone in Carrie Fisher's apartment, on Carrie Fisher's bed (and that someone isn't Carrie Fisher)
    Check
    Slept with somebody that was an outpatient at a mental health facility
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    Slept with a jealous writer
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    Slept with someone who is married
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    Slept with a guy named Aiden
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    Questioned everything
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    Pondered life
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    Had a casual conversation about vibrators in a diner
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    Said "you have to forgive me..."
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    ..."you have to forgive me..."
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    ..."you have to forgive me!..."
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    ..."YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE ME!"
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    Compared safe men to argyle socks
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    Made a scene in a restaurant
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    Made a scene at a nightclub
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    Caused two grown men to mud wrestle over you
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    Changed the subject to be about you every time your friend called on the phone complaining about their life
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    Kept your bra on while having sex
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    Worn granny panties
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    Had a bigger closet than most apartments
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    Never repeated an outfit in your life
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    Been totally unsure about love, life, and soulmates
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    Married yourself
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    Sent out invitations to your self-wedding to get shoes
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    Proved a point with your self-wedding
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    SHOVED YOUR SELF-WEDDING INTO YOUR EX-FRIEND'S FACE AND SHOWED THAT BITCH
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    Laughed at your friend who just pooped her pants...
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    ...and made a pun while laughing...
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    ...all mere days after getting left at the altar.
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    Worn your hair in a bun
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    Worn your hair in a ponytail
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    Worn your hair in a braid
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    Worn your hair every which way
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    Managed to look good in clothes that from the outside appear you found them in the dumpster
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    Sworn on Chanel
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    Moved to Paris
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    Hated Paris
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    Were rescued from Paris by a guy you've been seeing off/on for 10 years
    Check
    Owned more shoes than days in the year
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    Spent your whole paycheck on a Prada bag
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    Worn a hat
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    Worn an ugly hat
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    Lost your boyfriend's dog while you went to meet up with a guy you cheated on him with
    Check
    Worn a tube top
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    Taken the subway in your pajamas
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    Gotten super high off that one hit from the doobie you smoked that we were talking about earlier
 
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