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Everything You Need To Know About The Kelly Osbourne #PissedMyOwnPants-Gate

Pee drama is the best kinda of drama.

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Hello and welcome. I've brought you here today to talk about #PissedMyOwnPantsGate. What's #PissedMyOwnPantsGate? Glad you asked! Let me tell you.

Yesterday, Kelly Osbourne tweeted about how Starbucks wouldn't let her use their bathroom, and because apparently she doesn't know how to hold in her pee, she PISSED HERSELF.

SHAME on U @Starbucks #PissedMyOwnPants in this location because UR shameful employees refused to let me use the 🚽…


Basically Kelly was real mad because clearly Starbucks forced her to pee her pants!!! But there's more to the story.

That is kinda not true. I use Starbucks bathrooms all the time and never buy anything. I'm scum! But guess what, so is the rest of America 'cause the lines are always way too long filled w/ the public shitters of the world! SO, while not buying anything isn't a valid reason to deny restroom...perhaps not having a bathroom is?!?


I changed my tactic a bit for the second phone call, by putting on a bad Australian accent. They didn't hang up (at least not right away)! I quickly asked them if there was a bathroom at their location, to which the woman on the phone with me said...THERE IS NO BATHROOM!!!!!!

I followed up by asking if the ~incident~ was true, did Kelly really pee her pants? And THEN I was hung up on again, so unfortunately that is still unconfirmed. Oh well. At least I got to practice my Australian accent!