1.
"Thank god you're here! I heard something and came straight down."
2.
"I'm just here to clean up this mess, that's all."
3.
"It wasn't me, but I know who did it."
4.
"Oh, this ol' thang? Yeah, just a necklace I got, and not at all related to the mess in the kitchen."
5.
"I am INNOCENT! I will not go down for this!"
6.
"I'm sorry, no hablo inglés."
8.
"Oh, this hat? It was a GIFT. I don't remember who gave it to me."
9.
"Don't worry, I'm cleaning up for whoever did this."
11.
"I'm innocent. INNOCENT, I TELL YOU."
12.
"I'll find whoever did this. That I promise you."
13.
"I've been set up!!!"
14.
"That white thing? Oh, that's been on me since I was born!"
15.
"I'll be here protecting the crime scene until the culprit is found."
16.
"Yes, this looks like the work of someone who isn't me."
17.
"I'm telling you, he came in, unrolled the toilet paper, and then just left!"
18.
"They were in and out in two seconds; I couldn't catch them."
19.
"Just examining the evidence; don't mind me."
20.
"I've been framed, I tell ya!"
22.
"I plead NOT guilty on all counts."
23.
"The perp is out there somewhere. Anywhere but here."
24.
"It was like this when I got here. I'm just as surprised as you are."
25.
"In the wise words of Shaggy, it wasn't me."
27.
"THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE."
28.
"My record is squeaky-clean. This isn't my doing."
With the power vested in me by the state of New York, I declare the defendants all good boys.
