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    Why Chris Pratt Actually Should Have Been Named The Sexiest Man Alive

    WRONG CHRIS, People.

    By now you've probably heard that Chris Hemsworth was named the sexiest man alive. of 2014.

    That's fine, it makes sense. I can see why. ~Whatever~.

    But to be honest, there's another Chris that deserves the title. And that is Chris Pratt.

    CLEARLY THIS MAN SHOULD BE THE CHAMPION OF THE SEXIES.

    I mean, it seems obvious that there was a huge mistake.

    Look at that thing he's doing with his mouth

    Look how he gazes into the distance like a pondering stallion.

    Just look at his stupidly perfect little squinching face.

    No, he's not ~Thor~.

    But he IS Starlord.

    And he too can do wonderful things with his arms.

    Like carry water bottles.

    And heavy groceries.

    ~Welcome to the gun show~

    And what's sexier than a guy putting those guns to use by knowing how to french braid hair???

    Nothing. The answer is nothing.

    So yeah, while Chris Hemsworth is worthy I guess, please keep in mind what could have been.

    And who the rightful person is.