Do you hate vacuums?Do you think vacuums are literally the devil?Do you avoid vacuums at all cost but also get close to them to bark at them loudly?Do you lick your own balls?Have you ever licked someone elses balls?Or their butt?Have you made a mating decision based off someone elses butt scent?Are you a good boy/girl?Are you a very good boy/girl?Do you hate mail delivery people with a passion?Do you think mail is Hitler in paper form, and it must be destroyed?Do you often chew on shoes?Underwear?Socks?Bras?Any and all clothes?Your own tail?Have you ever left a room, found a toy of yours, and brought it back into the room you were in originally and IMPRESSED THE SHIT out of people by doing so?Is one of your greatest talents in life the ability to roll over?Do you fart and not say anything?Are your farts REALLY RANCID SMELLING?Do you put the blame of your fart on someone else thats in the room and just sit there mute while everyone else suffocates?Do you eat out of the garbage?Do you need a "bad can" to prevent you from eating out of the garbage?Do you high five on command?Do you circle a pillow for an extended amount of time until you've decided it's suitable to sit on?Do you get annoyed constantly by people picking you up?Or poking you?Or forming your hair into funny things for their amusement?Do you only know about 6 words in the English language, including your name?Would you sacrifice everything for a taste of peanut butter?Have you ever thought you were eating a piece of cheese and then there's a PILL IN THERE.And you are pissed, because now the cheese is tainted.Do you want to play?All the time?PLAY PLAY PLAY.MORE PLAY, LET'S PLAY.Do you hate when people ask you "where's your bone?"or, "want a treat?"...because the obvious answer is YES.Have you pooped in any place besides the toilet?Specifically, in a member of your family's shoe?Have you ever seen a roll of paper towels and decided to tear them to shreds and leave a mess in a kitchen?Have you peed on a carpet?More than once?More than 10 times?Is your name Spot?Or Buddy?Are you adorable?Are you literally the best thing in the entire world and when you enter a room everyone tells you how perfect and wonderful you are?
Are You A Dog?
You are indeed not a dog.
You are on the fence between dog and person. or your name is SPOT, in which case you have a dog's name and that sucks. THAT or you are spending too much time sniffing people's butts, and that is gross and you need to look at your life and your choices.
You are a dog, it's a fact. This is your life now.