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An Open Letter From Dogs Who Hate You Because You Bought Them Shoes

Sincerely, us dogs.

Dear human,

Are you kidding me?

Like, are you actually serious with this?

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?

AM I EXPECTED TO WEAR THESE?

Is this a sick joke?

LOOK AT MY ASS. LOOK AT MY ASS YOU ASSHOLE.

What the hell are these things.

YOU MADE ME MARCH. YOU DID THIS TO ME.

I DON'T WANT THEM.

JESUS PEANUTS THIS IS A MEAN PRANK.

Damn you. DAMN YOU TO HELL.

LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME.

LOOK WHAT I'VE BECOME.

MY LIFE IS OVER.

I HATE YOU.

I'm no longer what I was born to be.