Even though I don’t need an introduction, my name is Luna Lund Schmidt. In case you live under a rock, I’m a very famous movie star! My first public relationship was with Aziz Ansari. We battled it out in the tabloids and our relationship unfortunately ended in heartbreak. Luckily, just a few years later, I met David Beckham and we married within months! We now live in a huge mansion in New York City with a beautiful view. I would say my life is perfect but lately, I’ve been in the news for feuding with Taylor Swift. I just don’t understand why they won’t leave me alone! If you Googled me, you’d find out that I’m worth three hundred million dollars but I’m not counting! You might also find a few articles about my insider trading back in 2007, but let’s just ignore those fabricated stories! Though the general public thinks I’m savage, I try to remain humble because I know everyone can’t be famous. xoxoxo,
Luna Lund Schmidt

I always thought people would get pregnant from eating the little seeds in strawberries. It didn’t happen if you ate the strawberry itself, but if you picked out one of the tiny seeds and ate it on its own.

During my first year at uni I realized that whether I was scared or not, I still had to do it and that I could might as well try to do well, instead of rushing through it. Rushing makes you more nervous because you’re making yourself stressed. Everyone is nervous before they speak in front of large audiences and that’s okay, but don’t let your nervousness win. It also helps to stand behind something; a desk, a podium, anything that covers you up a little bit. You’ll feel less “naked”. Also, practice and stick to bullet points. Reading from a script makes you feel less competent, which in return makes you feel more nervous. Another great tip is to start by saying you’re nervous, because then you won’t feel the need to hide it (which also makes it worse). I used to be terrified of it and now I’m a teacher.

“U make me wanna call you in the middle of the night, u make me wanna hold you ‘till the morning light.” U Make Me Wanna by Blue was so catchy I didn’t notice it was about booty calls.

I was obsessed with this football player when I was around 13, but he had a girlfriend. I created a Sim for her and put her in a tiny house with the cheapest, ugliest decor I could find. I never “helped” her eat, use the bathroom or sleep, until she was in agony. Then I left her in a random room, removed the door, and let her die. I was a Sims psychopath.

When I was around 2 I was at a playground about to go on the slide. I tripped and knocked my front teeth into the metallic slide, causing them both to fall out and go down the slide. My mom went through the sand to find them but didn’t. I had no front teeth until I was around 7.

When I started junior high there was a rumor about a girl in my class saying she was having sex with a 32-year old. Despite her being 14 we all believed it.