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Is It Time You Left London?

It's over. The idiots won.

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  1. 1. An entrepreneur is crowdfunding Brew, a pub that serves only tea. Your response?

    Brew
    What a lovely idea.
    That sounds idiotic.
  2. 2. How do you feel about the fact that Secret Cinema tickets cost "78 Galactic Credits"?

    Facebook: SecretCinema
    Seems reasonable.
    How fucking much?
  3. 3. What's your opinion on Ricki Hall, the south-London-based model dubbed "the ultimate lumbersexual" by the Sunday Times?

    Twitter: @TheSTMagazine
    Seems like a nice enough bloke.
    Not sure we'd get on, if I'm honest.
  4. 4. What's your take on the concept of the "breakfast rave"?

    standard.co.uk
    Sounds like a laugh.
    Sounds like hell on earth.
  5. 5. Will you be attending this "epic" Slip & Slide event?

    Facebook: events / Via metro.co.uk
    Sure, looks like fun.
    No, because I am an adult.
  6. 6. Where do you stand on the cereal cocktail trend?

    Twitter: @getinthesea / Via telegraph.co.uk
    Delicious, I must try one.
    Sounds a little pretentious.
  7. 7. A pop-up poached-egg bar opened in a Dalston vintage clothes shop recently. Thoughts?

    Twitter: @getinthesea / Via foxcroftandginger.co.uk
    What a brilliant idea.
    Why?
  8. 8. Earlier this year, design agency Pearlfisher created a ball pit for adults. It was a hit with Londoners, selling out for the entire two weeks it existed.

    Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    pearlfisher.com
    Ha. Amazing!
    What? Why would I do this? I'm not a 5-year-old.
  9. 9. A soft play club night in Islington has been a huge success. Promoters plan to take it nationwide. How does that make you feel?

    regressionsessions.com / Via theladbible.com
    I want to go to there.
    It makes me feel tired. So very, very tired.
  10. 10. One of London's quirkier summer events, The Chap Olympiad, continues to draw crowds. It's now in its fifth year.

    thechapolympiad.com
    What larks.
    Jesus wept.
  11. 11. Thoughts on this water-only pop-up bar that opened in Shoreditch recently?

    metro.co.uk / Via Facebook: rnli
    How wonderfully innovative. And for a good cause, too.
    *sigh*
  12. 12. A cider brand sponsored a festival in Hackney Wick. Men were encouraged to thread flowers into their beards and post photos via the #KopparBeard hashtag.

    instagram.com / Via kopparbergurbanforest.com
    Brilliant. Experiential marketing at its best.
    Some day a real rain will come.
  13. 13. The trend for eccentric restaurant concepts shows no sign of slowing. Supper Tub being just one recent example.

    dalstonist.co.uk
    How delightfully off-kilter.
    We need a cleansing fire.
  14. 14. Cheese, Cheese, Bubbles, an east London pop-up, is the brainchild of self-styled cheese ambassador Matt Day.

    dalstonist.co.uk
    Cheese? In a hairdressers? Now this I have to see.
    Burn it. Burn it all to the ground.

Is It Time You Left London?

You got: You should leave London!

Get out, now. While there's still time. While you still have a shred of humanity remaining. For the love of god, leave, before this city entirely corrodes your soul, leaving you a blackened, unfeeling husk of a human being.

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You got: You should stay in London!

Nothing in this city fazes you. You have an admirably high tolerance for rip-off prices, commuter misery, and property market dysfunction. Sure, the city has its faults, but for you it's home, and you wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

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