This German Tabloid Just Came Out With The Funniest, Trolliest Brexit Front Page
"If you stay in the EU, we will acknowledge the Wembley goal. And we won't make any more jokes about Prince Charles' ears."
Germany's biggest-selling tabloid, Bild – the country's equivalent of The Sun – has this as its front page today.
Pleading with Britain not to leave the EU, the editorial playfully references England/Germany rivalries down the years – including the controversial goal that helped England win the World Cup in 1966.
Here's what the text says in full.
Dear Britain, if you stay in the EU...
* We will acknowledge the Wembley goal.
* We won't make any more jokes about Prince Charles' ears.
* We won't wear sun cream on the beach, in solidarity with your sunburn.
* We will go without our goalkeeper at the next penalty shootout to make it more exciting.
* We will introduce tea time, with buckets on the beaches of Majorca.
* We will willingly provide the villain in every Bond film.
* We'll start "ticking" like you and put our clocks back by an hour.
* We'll put through an EU directive that forbids foam on our beer.
* We'll reserve sun loungers around the pool for you with our towels.
* Jogi Löw [German football coach] will guard your crown jewels.
* We will come to your Queen's 100th birthday.