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45 Things Every Visitor To London Needs To Know

Key facts to bear in mind when planning a trip to our fine capital. Photos via the mighty Shit London.

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1. Our restaurants use only the finest and freshest ingredients

Photo: Charlie Blum

Photo: Charlie Blum

2. Though their preparation techniques can be somewhat puzzling

Photo: Dave Brighouse

Photo: Dave Brighouse

3. And sometimes you have to wonder what goes into our meat

Photo: Simon McLelland

Photo: Simon McLelland

Photo: Patrick Dalton

Photo: Patrick Dalton

4. Still, all the big-name fast food outlets can be found here

Photo: Matthew Copperwaite

Photo: Matthew Copperwaite

5. And all sorts of refreshing beverages are available

Photo: Mike Sanders

Photo: Mike Sanders

6. You can expect to come across unusual combinations

Photo: Richard Bulch

Photo: Richard Bulch

7. And exotic services

Photo: Gareth McLean

Photo: Gareth McLean

8. Some of our food may not sound all that appetising

Photo: Simo Bogdanovic

Photo: Simo Bogdanovic

Photo: Ryan Smith

Photo: Ryan Smith

9. And our eating establishments may not sound especially glamorous

Photo: Sonti Ramirez

Photo: Sonti Ramirez

10. But top-quality produce is available on every street corner

Photo: Hannah Mcqueen

Photo: Hannah Mcqueen

11. Just be aware that not EVERYTHING is edible

Photo: Georgia Kuhn

Photo: Georgia Kuhn

12. Our street markets arguably leave a little to be desired

Photo: Jen Ferguson

Photo: Jen Ferguson

13. And the products on offer may seem underwhelming

Photo: Angelique Neumann

Photo: Angelique Neumann

14. But hey, at least we're honest about it

Photo: Sharon Day

Photo: Sharon Day

15. Admittedly, customer service is not always all it could be

Photo: Ed Pentelow

Photo: Ed Pentelow

16. And things aren't always labelled clearly

Photo: John Hackney

Photo: John Hackney

17. Or spelt correctly

Photo: Matt Spurr

Photo: Matt Spurr

18. Plus, the 'bargains' on offer can be disappointing

Photo: Caroline Keyzor

Photo: Caroline Keyzor

Photo: Laura Gilchrist

Photo: Laura Gilchrist

19. Our shops aren't always imaginatively named

Photo: Ana Picasso

Photo: Ana Picasso

20. And we sometimes struggle with window displays

Photo: Hayes Hickman

Photo: Hayes Hickman

21. And OK, so our technology can be a little unreliable too

Photo: Chris Creature

Photo: Chris Creature

22. Rules and regulations aren't always observed

Photo: Sophia Owen

Photo: Sophia Owen

23. But that doesn't stop us trying to enforce them

Photo: Paul Martin

Photo: Paul Martin

Photo: Miles Gregory

Photo: Miles Gregory

24. Be warned: London is not always paradise for kids

Photo: Aysha Chaudary

Photo: Aysha Chaudary

25. In fact the whole place can seem quite unwelcoming to the untrained eye

Photo: Tim Bird

Photo: Tim Bird

26. Sometimes the place is so unfriendly it can seem like even the road signs are mocking you

Photo: Steph Hunter

Photo: Steph Hunter

27. You'll get used to it after a while though

28. And, on the plus side, our beautiful parks are famous the world over

Photo: Christopher Foster-Orr

Photo: Christopher Foster-Orr

29. In fact London has more green space than any other big city on Earth

Photo: Josh Burrows

Photo: Josh Burrows

30. Meanwhile, our travel agents are out of this world

31. As a society we're so polite and considerate

Photo: Jude Padraic

Photo: Jude Padraic

32. We love to think up puns

33. We're fond of a swear word or two

Photo: John Kirk

Photo: John Kirk

34. Our lorry drivers are especially fond of a joke

Photo: Christian Logan

Photo: Christian Logan

35. As are our van drivers

Photo: David John Brock

Photo: David John Brock

36. Admittedly some might describe our sense of humour as puerile

Photo: Andrew Crowe

Photo: Andrew Crowe

37. For example, we'll never pass up the opportunity to do this sort of thing

Photo: Steve Reed

Photo: Steve Reed

38. And it may take you a while to get to grips with all our slang terms

Photo: Peter Behrendorff

Photo: Peter Behrendorff

39. But Londoners are a helpful bunch, and are always happy to correct your mistakes

Photo: Gaz

Photo: Gaz

40. And offer friendly advice

Photo: Saptarshi Ray

Photo: Saptarshi Ray

41. We have a healthy lack of respect for authority

Photo: Mark Griffiths

Photo: Mark Griffiths

42. We can be highly creative when it suits us

Photo: Gurpreet Gupta

Photo: Gurpreet Gupta

43. And we are VERY discerning when it comes to pornography

Photo: Asad Qayyum

Photo: Asad Qayyum

44. So come to London! See the sights!

Photo: Andrew Huxter

Photo: Andrew Huxter

45. And don't forget to tell all your friends about the time you visited the most magical, glamorous and welcoming city on the planet

Photo: Alan Gilbey

Photo: Alan Gilbey

Photo: Alan Caughey

Photo: Alan Caughey

Photo: Jennifer Wilson

Photo: Jennifer Wilson

Photo: Jono McLeod

Photo: Jono McLeod

Huge thanks to Shit London for these photos. You might like to follow on Twitter, or even order the Shit London book.