21 Reasons Bearded Men Are Better
The evidence is overwhelming.
I can't believe we even need to have this debate. I mean, just look at this guy.
But OK, let's build our argument. Throughout history, beards have conferred prestige.
For many of the careers that matter, beards are practically a prerequisite.
Plus, bearded men are more attractive. This has been proved by science.
A decent beard can transform a pasty nerd into a rugged hunk.
A baby-faced dweeb into a revolutionary.
Some random dude into the director of Star Wars.
A tie-wearing nobody into an operatic powerhouse.
And a past-his-prime actor...
Into an Oscar winner.
There are practical benefits too. Growing a beard means you can say good-bye to one of mankind's most tedious tasks.
Other things you can do with a beard? Well, it gives you something to stroke while you're thinking.
You can use it to accentuate your insults.
Intimidate your enemies.
And if it's big enough, you can sell advertising on it.
Admittedly not all types of beard are equally desirable.
There are strict rules of etiquette that must be observed.
It's certainly possible to go too far.
(If you're not sure where the limit is, this guide should help.)
And, OK, the hirsute look doesn't work for absolutely everyone.
Plus, once you've grown one, it doesn't always have quite the impact you'd imagined.
But still. If you can grow a beard, you should. Pity those poor souls who can't.
(They can try and fake it, but they're not fooling anyone.)
Truth is, the benefits of having a hairy face are pretty much endless — as any partner of a bearded man will attest.
In conclusion, then. Beards, f**k yeah!
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