1. The person who wants sex, but gets easily distracted.
2. The person for whom alcohol has unlocked the secrets of Disney.
3. The person who made a friend, and got very lucky.
4. This other person who has also found a friend.
5. The person who can't trust their drunken self.
6. The person who understands how they might come across.
7. The person who has just regressed.
8. The person who needs a translation.
9. The person who gets confused about basic biology.
10. The person whose love can only be superseded by Taio Cruz.
11. The person who has really screwed up.
12. The person who just isn't making sense, but may also have been kidnapped.
13. The person who can finally reveal their personal truth.
14. The mom who just can't figure out how to ask the DJ to play her song.
My mom drunk texting last night legit texts me instead of asking the dj #soconfused
15. The person who finally understands what the truly important things in life are.
16. The person who is a cool dude.
17. The person who has figured out a higher truth.
18. The person who is making really weak decisions.
19. And the person who understands the ultimate truth of drunk texting.
Drunk texts