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Which "Gin-Sodden Strumpet" Of Cheltenham Should You Get Drunk With?

It's so hard to decide who to get sodden in gin with!

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Mail Online columnist Richard Littlejohn has written an article describing two women at Cheltenham as "gin-sodden strumpets" and claimed that they have brought shame on the centuries-old struggle for women's equality. Of course.

Because obviously two women (reality star Jessica Hayes and model Katie Salmon) flashing their nipples at the races has destroyed feminism forever, as Littlejohn explains so reasonably:

"The Suffragettes could never have imagined that their noble struggle for equality would eventually lead to young women assuming the freedom to behave in public like gin-sodden strumpets from a Hogarth etching."

"Is this what Emily Davison threw herself under a horse for?" he asks, just like how drunk men are constantly shamed for not living up to expectations of the Great Men Of History:

"Looking at the photos of those two hideous, drunken slatterns at Cheltenham, flashing their nipples and poking their pierced tongues at passing punters, one could be excused for thinking: Is this what Emily Davison threw herself under a horse for?"

So which gin-sodden strumpet should *you* go out on the lash with?

  1. What would you get drunk on?

  2. Which posh event would you proudly lower the tone of?

  3. Which body part would you flash?

  4. Which posh couple would have a spot of marital strife due to something naughty you did at a party?

  5. What drunk food would you eat as you head home, trying to ignore the feeling that you're being slowly suffocated by the intersection of the British class system and the patriarchy?

  6. How would The Daily Mail describe you?

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