Mail Online columnist Richard Littlejohn has written an article describing two women at Cheltenham as "gin-sodden strumpets" and claimed that they have brought shame on the centuries-old struggle for women's equality. Of course.
Because obviously two women (reality star Jessica Hayes and model Katie Salmon) flashing their nipples at the races has destroyed feminism forever, as Littlejohn explains so reasonably:
"The Suffragettes could never have imagined that their noble struggle for equality would eventually lead to young women assuming the freedom to behave in public like gin-sodden strumpets from a Hogarth etching."
"Is this what Emily Davison threw herself under a horse for?" he asks, just like how drunk men are constantly shamed for not living up to expectations of the Great Men Of History:
"Looking at the photos of those two hideous, drunken slatterns at Cheltenham, flashing their nipples and poking their pierced tongues at passing punters, one could be excused for thinking: Is this what Emily Davison threw herself under a horse for?"
So which gin-sodden strumpet should *you* go out on the lash with?
ChampagneGin and Tonic, naturallyA perfectly aged merlot, chugged from cut-glass decanterA 60-year-old Scotch, which you drink while seething with a latent rage that it is 2016 and young women are being shamed in a national newspaper for not living up to some pudding-faced old sexist's ahistorical interpretation of feminism
Oxford & Cambridge Boat RaceVia Richard Heathcote / GettyRoyal Henley RegattaVia Dan Kitwood / GettyRoyal AscotVia Dan Kitwood / GettyThe PromsVia Carl Court / Getty
Left NippleRight NippleMy entire body, as I slowly and proudly strip naked in front of the world's press in a work of performance art meant to represent the longed-for unburdening of women from the expectations of a profoundly unequal societyBum
Benedict Cumberbatch & Sophie HunterVia WPA PoolThe Duke & Duchess of CambridgeVia Leon Neal / GettyEddie Redmayne & Hannah BagshaweVia Alberto E. Rodriguez / GettySteph & DomVia Channel 4
A gin-sodden strumpetA slatternly disgraceA common harlotA scarlet woman, unfit for society, bringing disgrace to her family, who Richard Littlejohn personally finds unattractive