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The 65 Totally Random Things St. George Is Actually Patron Saint Of, Ranked

St. George is genuinely the patron saint of all these things, for some reason.

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65. Crusaders.

Crusaders were dicks.
Scott Free Productions / Via mediumaevum.tumblr.com

Crusaders were dicks.

64. Equestrians.

Posh people. Did you know Mitt Romney's horse was in the London Olympics?
commons.wikimedia.org

Posh people. Did you know Mitt Romney's horse was in the London Olympics?

63. Scouts.

Everyone hated being in the Scouts. Stupid fucking neckties.
en.wikipedia.org

Everyone hated being in the Scouts. Stupid fucking neckties.

62. Order of the Garter.

Shit clothing, shit Order.
commons.wikimedia.org

Shit clothing, shit Order.

61. Amersfoort, Netherlands.

A place in the Netherlands that looks like it probably doesn't have much weed.
commons.wikimedia.org

A place in the Netherlands that looks like it probably doesn't have much weed.

60. Bulgarian Army.

Like other armies, but Bulgarian.
commons.wikimedia.org

Like other armies, but Bulgarian.

59. Bulgaria.

Looks like a happening country.
commons.wikimedia.org

Looks like a happening country.

58. Sheep.

Sheep don't need a cunting patron saint.
commons.wikimedia.org

Sheep don't need a cunting patron saint.

57. Teutonic Knights.

Not the ones that are maybe the Illuminati, the other ones.
en.wikipedia.org

Not the ones that are maybe the Illuminati, the other ones.

56. Beirut, Lebanon.

There's an indie band called Beirut that is quite good.
commons.wikimedia.org

There's an indie band called Beirut that is quite good.

55. Catalonia, Spain.

Messi's not even from Barcelona, so what's the fucking point, really?
commons.wikimedia.org

Messi's not even from Barcelona, so what's the fucking point, really?

54. Constantinople.

Doesn't even exist anymore. Lazy.
commons.wikimedia.org

Doesn't even exist anymore. Lazy.

53. Freiburg, Germany

Looks jazzy.
commons.wikimedia.org

Looks jazzy.

52. Malta.

Ancient home of the Templar Knights. Parts of World War Z filmed there.
commons.wikimedia.org

Ancient home of the Templar Knights. Parts of World War Z filmed there.

51. Montenegro.

Entered robots in last years Eurovision.
commons.wikimedia.org

Entered robots in last years Eurovision.

50. Farmers.

Make food.

49. London, England.

Greatest city in the world™. Has more London Underground users than any other city. Smells faintly of urine at all times.
commons.wikimedia.org

Greatest city in the world™. Has more London Underground users than any other city. Smells faintly of urine at all times.

48. Gozo, Malta.

Name kind of looks like the symbols for Led Zep IV. Or a muppet.
commons.wikimedia.org

Name kind of looks like the symbols for Led Zep IV. Or a muppet.

47. Ferrera, Italy.

Probably has good pizza.
en.wikipedia.org

Probably has good pizza.

46. Georgia.

The country, not the state. Lovely sunsets.
commons.wikimedia.org

The country, not the state. Lovely sunsets.

45. Haldern, Germany.

Contains at least one pretty house.
commons.wikimedia.org

Contains at least one pretty house.

44. Knights.

Heath Ledger played one once (sort of). + 3 points.
Escape Artists / Via fantasy-fan.org

Heath Ledger played one once (sort of). + 3 points.

43. Genoa, Italy.

A bit Communist.
commons.wikimedia.org

A bit Communist.

42. Skin diseases.

I didn't want to find a picture of skin diseases, so here's a bunny instead.
commons.wikimedia.org

I didn't want to find a picture of skin diseases, so here's a bunny instead.

41. Husbandmen.

Feudal role, slightly below Yeoman. According the only image of a husbandman on the internet, didn't like storks, which makes this husbandman kind of a shit.
commons.wikimedia.org

Feudal role, slightly below Yeoman. According the only image of a husbandman on the internet, didn't like storks, which makes this husbandman kind of a shit.

40. Horsemen.

Cowboys are horsemen?
commons.wikimedia.org

Cowboys are horsemen?

39. Syphilis.

Over-rated. Lenin probably had syphilis.
commons.wikimedia.org

Over-rated. Lenin probably had syphilis.

38. Saddle Makers.

George is patron saint of everything even slightly horse based. Fucking saddle makers? Why is that a thing?
commons.wikimedia.org

George is patron saint of everything even slightly horse based. Fucking saddle makers? Why is that a thing?

37. Portugal.

Responsible for this shitbucket.
Hugo Correia / Reuters

Responsible for this shitbucket.

36. Horses.

che-floyd.tumblr.com

Animal. Good at running.

35. Slovenia.

Quality mountains.
en.wikipedia.org

Quality mountains.

34. Moscow, Russia.

Russian.

33. Heide, Germany.

Sometimes sunny.
commons.wikimedia.org

Sometimes sunny.

32. Chivalry.

CHIVALRY IS DEAD, IT WAS KILLED BY FEMINISM.
commons.wikimedia.org

CHIVALRY IS DEAD, IT WAS KILLED BY FEMINISM.

31. Modica, Sicily.

Principal products include olives, carobs, cereals and cattle.
en.wikipedia.org

Principal products include olives, carobs, cereals and cattle.

30. Agricultural Workers.

One of many farm based professions on the list. Which is weird, because George wasn't really a farmer.
upload.wikimedia.org

One of many farm based professions on the list. Which is weird, because George wasn't really a farmer.

29. Reggio Calabria, Italy.

Has a beach. Looks lovely.
en.wikipedia.org

Has a beach. Looks lovely.

28. Armourers.

Cool. Because TV.
HBO / Via gameofthrones.wikia.com

Cool. Because TV.

27. Palestinian Christians

No comment.
en.wikipedia.org

No comment.

26. Plague

Unpleasant.
commons.wikimedia.org

Unpleasant.

25. Field Workers.

Variant of agricultural worker.
commons.wikimedia.org

Variant of agricultural worker.

24. Portugese Army.

Like the Bulgarian Army, but Portuguese.
commons.wikimedia.org

Like the Bulgarian Army, but Portuguese.

23. Ptuj, Slovenia

Has a spring festival dedicated to the God of hedonism. Hence the fur.
en.wikipedia.org

Has a spring festival dedicated to the God of hedonism. Hence the fur.

22. Lod, Israel.

Contains this rather fetching arch.
commons.wikimedia.org

Contains this rather fetching arch.

21. Serbia.

Both Serbia and Montenegro claim George as Patron Saint. He has to support basically half of Europe come the European Championships.
en.wikipedia.org

Both Serbia and Montenegro claim George as Patron Saint. He has to support basically half of Europe come the European Championships.

20. Aragon, Spain.

Went really downhill after the 16th Century.
commons.wikimedia.org

Went really downhill after the 16th Century.

19. Romani People.

Have the only cool type of caravan.
en.wikipedia.org

Have the only cool type of caravan.

18. Lepers and leprosy.

Jesus liked lepers, and he was generally considered quite a good dude.
commons.wikimedia.org

Jesus liked lepers, and he was generally considered quite a good dude.

17. Palestine.

No comment.
commons.wikimedia.org

No comment.

16. Lithuania.

Cold and flat.
commons.wikimedia.org

Cold and flat.

15. Portuguese Navy.

Boats. That are Portuguese. Often have guns.
commons.wikimedia.org

Boats. That are Portuguese. Often have guns.

14. Bavaria, Germany.

Good beer, good skirts, great lederhosen.
commons.wikimedia.org

Good beer, good skirts, great lederhosen.

13. Archers.

Cool. Because films.
New Line Cinema / Via theargonath.cc

Cool. Because films.

12. Shepherds.

If Shepherd's Pie was in this, it would have won.
commons.wikimedia.org

If Shepherd's Pie was in this, it would have won.

11. Piran, Slovenia.

Adorable town. Also, the first town in former communist Europe to elect a black mayor.
en.wikipedia.org

Adorable town. Also, the first town in former communist Europe to elect a black mayor.

10. Soldiers.

Most soldiers will take all the help they can get.
commons.wikimedia.org

Most soldiers will take all the help they can get.

9. England.

Eh.

8. Herpes.

Under-rated.
en.wikipedia.org

Under-rated.

7. Corinithians Football Team.

Not a great club. Used to have both Tevez and Paulhinio, alongside many other great players, but had to sell them all because the finances of football dictate that Corinthians can't compete internationally, and need to sell their best players, condemning the club to never bring their league to the height and popularity of the European super-leagues. A further tragic reflection of the Euro-Centrism of globalisation.
commons.wikimedia.org

Not a great club. Used to have both Tevez and Paulhinio, alongside many other great players, but had to sell them all because the finances of football dictate that Corinthians can't compete internationally, and need to sell their best players, condemning the club to never bring their league to the height and popularity of the European super-leagues. A further tragic reflection of the Euro-Centrism of globalisation.

6. Riders.

Probably not that sort of rider.
New Line Cinema / Via lotr.wikia.com

Probably not that sort of rider.

5. Cavalry.

Clearly the coolest soldiers.
commons.wikimedia.org

Clearly the coolest soldiers.

4. Ethiopia.

Yes, that valley is actually in Ethiopia.
commons.wikimedia.org

Yes, that valley is actually in Ethiopia.

3. Cappadocia.

Stone for people who are really stoned.
commons.wikimedia.org

Stone for people who are really stoned.

2. Greece.

Much temple. Many history. Such old. Wow.
commons.wikimedia.org

Much temple. Many history. Such old. Wow.

1. Butchers.

Produce bacon.
Intermedia / Via popdecay.com

Produce bacon.