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Taking The Tube In Summer, Explained By "Battle Of The Bastards"

It's a mess.

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When it starts, you're just so positive. You're confident that this is going to be a great day, and you stroll confidently to the station.

Because it's a lovely day!

But your positivity doesn't last long, because so many other people are also walking along on this lovely day. You get slowed down.

Then you get REALLY slowed down, because it's summer, and there are hordes and hordes of tourists coming towards you.

So you brace to fight through the most evil people on Earth, with their rucksacks, and suitcases, and inability to pronounce Leicester Square.

Right up until you realise that actually, most of the people causing the problem are regular commuters who you'd previously thought of as OK.

But it's hot, and confusing, and annoying. Everywhere you look is people rushing because they want to be out of this hell-world of heat.

When you get in the train, it's crowded.

Very crowded.

And more people seem to be getting on and making it even more crowded.

You really start thinking about killing that one dude who's stretching and rubbing his armpit in your face.

But mostly it's so crowded and sweaty you start to wonder if you'll ever see light again. You're definitely struggling to breathe.

But then suddenly, you make it to your stop. People are getting off. You can peel yourself out of the sweaty mess of humanity.

You make eye contact with a colleague getting off the same train. You both know what you've just been through.

But then it's off to work!

You're still covered in the liquified dirt and bodily fluids, both yours and other peoples, that you picked up just now – and that you'll be wearing for basically the rest of the day now.


And of course, with the crushing psychological weight of what just happened, that you'll never be able to forget.