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24 Times Scottish Twitter Perfectly Explained Modern Life

It's the only way to understand the world.

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magine gettin a husband n a hoose etc the whole shabang the gaff's got a spare room n he starts callin it 'the man cave'


Ye no ready a bit early nah?



A boy at avicii telt me his dad died cos of MDMA and when the beat dropped he was proper crying his eyes out shoutin "ma dad died for this"


Trying tae persuade mcnot tae come oot for nye n this is wit a get hit wae Hahahah am in tears


It's actually so bad how a can't help my self but reply to messages within about 30 seconds, even after being pied for hours


shite day at bristol airport but the wee polish lassie signed my star bucks name as cock muncher wae nae hassle 👍🏼


No much worse than when someone's tryin to have a serious chat with you at a party and yer absolute tune comes on in the next room


got a bit emotional to my maw last night x


Shame ye cannae contour yer horrible personality


"my boyfriend won't let me" why u goin oot w/ ur da


That's no a fuckin costume, that's how you wear your covers when your hungover n goin doon the stair for a scran



"Haha" is jst pure dry man a know wit a just said wis funnier than that a deserve at least 4 ha's in there ya lippy wee fuck


maw asked for music n a gave her it on a USB stick n she went 'how dae a listen ae this' dunno plug it inty yer dinosaur ya absolute caveman


the most realistic thing about porn is how a girl will give a guy head for half an hour and in return he'll go down on her for 45 seconds


am on the raj no the Winter Olympics hahahahahahahahahaha oh u fucker. gone.


relationships only lasted a long time in your grandparents era cos ur gran couldnt see granda liking moira's fb pics & his bf's on snapchat


how gid are parties w/ ur mums pals :)) folk you dunno calling u stunnin n ur walking about aw night lookin like a 4 feelin like a 12



Hate when ye play a belter of a tune n someone's like "aww that's shite" listen here pal it's no up for a discussion its a fkn anthem right


cunt just bumped the train by saying he wis just oot the jail, ticket cunt replied: next time u come oot the jail, make sure uve got 70p


Ken when ur tellin a story n ur sending 3 separate messages and it comes up that they're typing . Am no finished yet, stop rushin me