Skip To Content
  • lol badge

35 Reasons Scottish Twitter Is The Wildest Place On The Internet

It's realer than you can handle, and you need to explore it.

1. So many important issues are covered.

maw bought aldi shower gel that smells like fairy liquid so I've been cutting about all day smelling like a fucking plate

2. Holding the media to account.

"Skinny pill"? They're called eccies mate and of course they make you skinny, you canny eat if you can't find yer jaw

3. Needing them to be honest.

What do you mean fuckin "ruined", ungrateful

4. Dealing with all the vital issues.

Can live wi paying 5p for one but am sick of having to fuckin light the beacons of Gondor to summon someone anytime I want a bag in Asda

5. The struggles that everyone goes through.

When yer maw phones ye for Sunday dinner but you're still eccied oot yer tits

6. And the struggles that everyone understands.


7. Scottish Twitter is still woke though.

Police brutality in america is fucking awful man polis in scotland probably flip coins for who's chapping the door and who's dain the talkin

8. About a variety of issues.

issue wi males that think it's acceptable to comment on how a girl looks when she's mwi am no oot tae be stunnin am oot tae cut mad shapes

9. And they're all about speaking out.

Why do boys beep at u when they drive past?? Gees a second while a run after ur fiat punto

10. Scottish Twitter knows what people want.

ye dinny want shite old potatoes ye want

11. And know real truths.

Dead unfair how my tummy looks reasonably flat in the morn then after like 3 rice crispies a look like am 8 months gone with twins x

12. Like that it's important to stick up for themselves.

Just seen a bird shoutin at her bairn to put his pants on then pointed at me sayin 'look the mans gonna steal ur willy'. Wtf no am no

13. But they can still give their friends a gentle ribbing.

When yer pal misinterprets a night on the sauce

14. They deserve it.

Rab McLaughlan wis shagging a burd n he went like that tae her " who's yer daddy" n the burd went "a dno he left ma maw" hahahahaha

15. Even if it sometimes goes a touch wrong.

last time a dish out the inspiring speeches hahahahaha

16. Scottish people will always work together.

A decent acquisition if I do say so myself

17. There's truth in this.

I'd be so ragin if i was a sniffer dog. A dug with a job. All your pals down the park sniffing arseholes n you canny cos you're on backshift

18. And a tragic truth in this.

Sad that u get best tan on ur belly n only person that properly sees that is the one ur shagging n all they want to see is ur fan no ur tan

19. There's an inevitability to this.

This would be up there wi yin ae the funniest hing I've ever seen yesterday😂

20. And strangeness in this.

21. They struggle a little with online dating however.

Swiped no on some1 on tinder cause they had a big mole on their heed n then so did the next cunt :S turns out I had chocolate on ma screen x

22. After all, it is tricky.

23. It's important to call people out when they're maybe not making much sense.

Hen lets be real thats hot chocolate in a bowl

24. Seriously.

25. But try not to get jealous of people on social media.

FS man wish my maw wid take me tae space for my birthday

26. Ask the real questions.

Eh right nae bather, did Ur hamster put you in his will or sumin

27. Highlight the real problems.

Voting no and greeting at Tory government is like grassing yer da for shaggin the neighbour then greeting when he gets flung out aff yer maw

28. Parents are always helpful.

my mum doesn't seem to understand exams

29. And honest.

30. Without them, people can struggle.

Ma maw has been away on holiday for a day and the dug is runnin aboot covered in curry sauce

31. Scottish Twitter is where the most exciting things happen.

@Tinthepark hi im somewhere in green 7 someone has packed me into a tent bag for a joke and I can't get out I don't have much battery left

Even if they may or may not have actually happened.

32. Or maybe it's just T in the Park.

also Kara drank what she thought was white wine out of a water gun, turns out it was piss #titp2015

33. Scottish people will point out when someone just gets slightly confused.

34. But when it gets serious, they'll defend each other.

@Tesco selling something nearly two weeks out of date. #NotCool

35. For Scottish people are simply wonderful.