1. I love laughing = I’m human.
2. I like to stay in with a glass of wine and a DVD = I do things that humans do.
3. I’m a bit crazy = This one time, I stayed up until 12:30!
4. “Work Hard, Play Harder” = Sometimes I go to the pub on a weeknight.
5. People notice my eyes = I have eyes.
6. I love travelling = I took a gap year.
7. I love travelling and want to go again = I took a gap year and haven’t got a job yet.
8. I’m new to this = I look down on people doing online dating.
9. My friends say I’m… = …trying to hide the fact I’m bragging.
10. I love exploring the city = I’d like to start going to a different bar.
11. I like going out and staying in = I’m a bit bored.
12. I like walks in the park, watching movies, and going to the pub on Sunday for roast dinner = I’m very bored.
13. I’m a gym rat = I want to bond over protein powder.
14. I work a lot = I literally don’t do anything else.
15. Looking for someone who’s active = Looking for someone who’s thin.
16. Looking for my partner in crime = MY FRIENDS CALL ME “DANGER” (no they don’t).
17. Looking for some good banter = I think insults are a substitute for conversation.
18. Looking for my knight in shining armour = Would rather not work in the future.
19. My friends (and family) are really important to me = I go home a lot.
20. Don’t contact me if you can’t use “your” and “you’re” = I think I’m probably more intelligent than you.
21. My life is amazing = I’d like to talk to you about my job.
22. I don’t really know what to write = I’m just now realising that I’m not very interesting.
23. I don’t care what you think = Please don’t judge me.
24. I don’t watch television = I watch Netflix instead.
25. I’m down to earth = I approve of gravity.
26. Looking to make friends = I think everyone is only online to have sex, and I’m scared.
27. Drama-free = I have drama.
28. No baggage, please! = I have a lot of baggage.
29. I love hanging out with my friends = Mainly, I drink.
30. “Hello, ladies” = I own at least two fedoras.
31. I’m a nice guy = I own at least three fedoras.
32. I don’t take life too seriously = I don’t make much effort.
33. I’m easy-going = I don’t make much effort.
34. I’m bubbly = I’m loud.
35. I’m really funny = I repeat jokes that other people say.
36. I’m very sarcastic = I don’t really understand humour.
37. I’m not good at writing about myself = I’m hiding the effort I put into this.
38. I have wide tastes in music = I’m not that into music.
39. I like all music (except rap) = I’m white.
40. I changed my hair since my pictures = It’s not me in my pictures.
41. My favourite author is Murakami = I’ve never read any Murakami.
42. Love to have fun = I’m running out of things to say.
43. I love life = I’m totally out of things to say.