1."Most cotton buds are for the weaker gender, but these are INDUSTRIAL STEEL cotton buds for building and detailing so I am manly."
2."Fuck girly sunscreen — this is sunscreen for men. For man skin. Man skin is different to woman skin. It's manly."
3."Only the womens read poetry, but BRO-etry? I'm a man, so I read things for men. Books are scary."
4."If I look at men, gay thoughts enter my brain and it's because of all the men so I just want to look at dogs instead so I don't feel gay. What if people saw me looking at fully clothed men and thought I was gay?"
5."When girls wear sweaters that are too large, it scares me. I am a Man and I must be larger than everyone around me to feel like a Man."
6."Beds are so so girly, but I need to sleep, so I sleep in a MAN'S BED. For men."
7."It hides in my pocket so no one sees me making sure my chapped lips get the care they deserve. I have to go in the stalls in the bathroom to apply it. But only when no other men are in the bathroom — or I might look as if I'm in there with them."
8."Loofahs are for women, and I'm not a woman, but this is a DETAILER, like what you use for cars, and cars are for MEN."
9."None of that women's soap for me. This is BIG soap. MASSIVE soap. Soap MASSIVE enough to wash my MASSIVE balls, which I have because I'm a MAN."
10."Look how tough and manly this soap is, like how I'm really tough and manly."
11."My massive balls mean I only drink men's tea."
12."If people see me near bras they will think I'm a girl."
13."If I have to cook for others, people might think I'm servile AND MEN DON'T SERVE MEN GET SERVED."
14."I need to express my emotions to an extremely ill person, but they might think I'm a woman because of all the emotions, so I need to prove I'm not a woman. I'M NOT A WOMAN."
15."Feelings are for women and I'M A MAN."
16."How can I be expected to enjoy a fragrant, relaxing, rosemary-scented bath without simultaneously being reminded of the devastating lethal power of an explosive device, OK?"
17."Looking at a gay man might make me gay."
18."Nearly touching my own butt just feels wrong, y'know? I have to be reassured that it's definitely not weird to wipe my own butt."
19."Sometimes people put dicks in their mouths, so if I have to put something in my mouth it needs to be ultra-manly. But not gay manly. Manly manly. I'm not gay."
20."I saw a woman drink sangria once and I'm not a woman so I need to drink MANgria. I'm not a woman."
21."Pink is for girls and I am not a girl I am a man."
22."I'm eating this pastry treat because I'm a man. Its sweet, sugary deliciousness is for MEN. I'M A MAN."
23."I'M A MAN"
24."I have a MAN TIN FOR MY MAN THINGS."
25."I'M A MAN"
26."Smelling like girly shit is so rubbish, I want to smell like GODDAMN ABS LIKE A MAN."
27."I'M A MAN I'M A MAN I'M A MAN"
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