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18 Secrets Clarks Shoe Fitters Will Never Tell You

In case you hadn't realised: Your feet stink.

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1. The smell of your feet makes us want to vomit.

Instagram: @uksockmaster

And if we're hungover, it's even more brutal.

2. There's nothing worse than going into the storeroom and opening a shoebox, only to find a single shoe.

Netflix

Seriously: It's a nightmare.

3. Especially when the the missing shoe is a ~display shoe~.

Paramount

No, you can't have a discount.

4. Our uniforms are beyond terrible.

Instagram: @poison2

Even since they got updated, they're still terrible.

5. We dread having to tell you that we don't have your size.

Instagram: @toni_masu

It's not our fault, so please don't be mad.

6. But we love it when you ask us to ring other stores to check their stock.

Paramount

It means we get to waste time checking our phones for messages behind the tills.

7. We also quite like being told to dust and clean the shelves.

Instagram: @kirsty_whitworth

Not having to deal with customers for a bit is a welcome relief.

8. Remembering which shoes come in half sizes is a minefield.

Warner Bros.

9. We will never, ever understand the rationale behind going shoe shopping with no socks on.

NBC

Come on!

10. If you enter the shop when the shutter is half down, we automatically hate you.

20th Century Fox

We are either half open or half closed. Either way, back off.

11. Even though we have to offer it to you, you don't really need that Nubuck cleaner.

AMC

But we really needed to up our shoecare sales.

12. We all consider quitting the week before the sale.

Instagram: @clarks_shop_switzerland

And then immediately regret not quitting as soon as sale week begins.

13. We also consider quitting during the annual "Back to School" period, which gets more brutal every year.

Instagram: @clarksshoesme

We dread facing the queues of miserable kids whose angry parents want them in "sensible shoes".

14. But we loved selling the shoes with toys in the bottom.

Instagram: @mumiiuk

Only the coolest kids buy those shoes.

15. We often fall in love with a new pair of shoes that come into stock, buy them, and lie to our friends about where they came from.

Instagram: @cantswingacat

16. We still can’t quite get our heads around why Clarks Originals are cool.

Instagram: @imaiofficial

Seriously?

17. We are all totally shoe-fit obsessed, even when we buy our own shoes from other shops.

Walt Disney

Is there actually enough arch support in this stiletto? I'm not sure I've got a full thumb's space in my new brogues?

18. And finally, the best part of our job is fitting a baby’s first shoes and taking their Polaroid picture.

Instagram: @jemmalou7

Awhhhh.