back to top

35 Things You'll Only Understand If You're From South-East Essex

Anywhere near Basildon, Southend, or Thurrock? You'll know what I'm talking about.

Posted on

2. Girls want to work as a Beautician, a PA or a Model*.


*One becomes a 'Model' by employing someone to take photos of them pouting whilst laying down, wearing a baggy top and shimmery eyeshadow.

14. “What’s that over the river Mum?”…”That little one, is the faraway kingdom of Bluewater with it’s labyrinthian floorplan and expensive shops. We must never go there.”

16. Summer uniform rules are very stringent. Failure to adhere will result in being lame.


Snapback, Aviators, Tan, Tight Polo T-Shirt, Tailored Pastel Shorts, Shiny Legs, No Socks, Boxfresh Shoes, and a Lager. Do not under any circumstances leave the house without your tiny manbag.

33. "We 'ad a propa sick sesh bombin' it daan the A13 . Yeh I am bare buzzin' bruv, fort it was gonna be bleak. I dun'arf wanna get gattered though innit.... You out t'night fella? Let's get ON IT. Nice one bruv, bell me later."

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!