The 31 Stages Of Your Diet

You just want to lose 3 pounds.

1. It starts with a moment of realization, accompanied by horror.

Often in the form of a “fat mirror” or unflattering photo.

2. Your new focus becomes that one (probably non-existent) lump of fat.

3. You just hate it SO MUCH.

4. But your workout regimen isn’t cutting it.

You can’t imagine why…

5. And you find yourself snacking.


6. Plus you don’t know much about dieting.

7. Like, absolutely nothing.

8. You turn to the heavens for help.

9. And then to your friends.

10. They act totally supportive.

11. But then order dessert anyway.

How could they?!

12. Which you obviously can’t resist.

13. Sometimes your friends ask how it’s going.

14. Which you take very personally.

15. So you engage in some secret snacking.

16. You figure you can just burn it off at the gym!

That’s what cardio is for, right?

17. Your hunger causes strange mood swings.

18. You might overreact when your roommate orders pizza.

Just a teensy bit…

19. No one understands why you’re grumpy all the time.

20. You find “thinspiration” online.

21. Breaking your diet feels like the end of the world.

22. You refuse to be a slave to food.

23. It’s much harder than you expected.

24. Sometimes you consider giving up.

25. But then a voice inside your head says otherwise.

26. You do okay until you get drunk.

27. Then you throw your inhibitions to the wind.

28. Eventually it gets too hard.

29. You realize you were overlooking some of the finer things in life.

30. You’re happy the way you are!

31. Well, until next time anyway…

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