One night in college I wandered into the wrong dorm room. He was cute so I decided to stay and hang out. Two years later, we’re still together.

When I was teaching English at a university in France, a student said he was “on the pursuit of a penis.” Another guy said, “I agree, finding a penis is the most important thing in life.” Then a female student said, “It doesn’t matter how rich you are because money can’t buy you a penis.” I was kind of like, “Okay, fair enough.” Later I realized they were trying to say “happiness” but their accents made it sound like “a penis.” Clearly my mind is in the gutter.

Divergent is about a futuristic planet where emotions have been banned for 100+ years. It might be a post-apocalyptic world instead of another planet. Either way, it’s really dystopian. At age 12, all the children have to take a Myers Briggs personality test type of thing, which determines what they major in at school. Some of the career paths are really bad, like laborers and the women who give birth every year (everyone else is sterilized). But if your test is inconclusive you are publicly executed, so Amy Juergens is recruited by this secret club where she learns how to hunt and fight so she can live in the sewers. The real underlying problem, however, is that the island (or planet or whatever) is running out of supplies and will ultimately be starved out. Amy and her boyfriend find and decode a message from the Chief Elders explaining a secret tunnel to the outside world and are finally accepted by the townspeople in spite of being nonconformists.