1. I mean, have you heard the song?
2. The return of Britishney
Her British accent is so incredibly misguided and inaccurate, but for some reason, she makes it completely endearing. It provides us with tinges of psycho-Britney circa 2005 when she’d randomly bust out a Cockney accent while walking barefoot through a gas station at 2 AM.
3. The impending music video
By all accounts, the video is supposed to be spectacular, with Britney allegedly dancing her ass off in the style of old school Britney. Think Onyx Hotel Tour, but in the middle of the desert. Plus, there’s a bikini and (at least) six-inch wedge heels involved, not to mention she’s personifying her own lyrics: “Look hot in a bikini, you better work bitch!”
4. The fact you’re going to hear it in every gay club ever for the next three months
The song’s mainstream commercial appeal is questionable, but rest assured you’ll see multiple drag queens performing it and flocks of gays twerking to it in the club.
5. The use of explatives
As “Gimme More” has proven, Britney’s use of the word “bitch” is magical.
6. It’s better than “Applause”
“Work Bitch” is what “Applause” wishes it was.
7. She unknowingly just created a new gay anthem
Any song that uses the word “work,” like, 40 times is basically destined to be a gay classic.
8. She knows her place
She respects her reputation and concurrently upholds it.
9. This was her only a few years ago
My, how far she’s come.
10. It unwitingly espouses conservative ideals
To quote, “You wanna hot body, you want a Bugatti, you want a Maserati: you better work, bitch.” See? It spans across political boundaries.
11. In conclusion…
12. It’s Britney, bitch
- Bomb threats were called into Jewish centers in at least 11 states today, making it the fifth wave of threats since January.
- "Moonlight" won Best Picture at the Oscars, but they accidentally gave it to "La La Land" first 😳