1. When it was hard to see anything through the fog.
2. And then the fog cleared and I was like, BRING BACK THE FOG.
3. When Chucky made an appearance. He’s so small, and yet!
4. When this guy didn’t even need a costume to be terrifying. Serving Patrick Bateman realness, y’all.
5. When I decided to check out the house from Insidious, despite having seen Insidious and knowing better.
6. When I realized I should probably just turn around. If you see this shit, and you keep going, that’s on you.
7. Things that I didn’t think would move started moving. It was incredibly unsettling, and I jumped every time.
8. And then this happened and I actually died. R.I.P. me.
9. When CLOWNS.
10. So many clowns.
12. This is actually the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I’d pay good money to wipe it from my memory.
13. When I sought haven in this prison from The Walking Dead.
14. Turns out, there were zombies everywhere. I probably should have paid more attention to the show.
15. But seriously. Zombies. All over the place.
16. Some were more active than others.
17. Also, it was a vegetarian’s nightmare.
18. But Woodbury wasn’t much better.
19. When the government shutdown straight up caused The Purge.
20. And people responded accordingly.
21. When I was like, OK, one more maze, and it was the goddamn house from Evil Dead. I make the worst choices.
22. It was like being in the movie. NOT A MOVIE I WANT TO BE IN, THANKS.
23. When there were dead cats hanging from the ceiling.
24. Eventually I reached the film’s climax and exhaled. Oh, spoiler alert.
25. When I realized there wasn’t really anything to be afraid of, which meant all my screaming was for nothing. Sometimes I scare myself.
Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios runs through November 2.
- The White House defended rolling back Obama-era transgender protections, with Sean Spicer repeatedly insisting it's a "states' rights issue."
- Recreational marijuana needs "greater enforcement" of federal law, said Spicer, pitting the White House against eight states that legalized its use.
- A researcher with Human Rights Watch was denied entry into Israel earlier this week with the country's government calling the human rights organization "propaganda."
- Beyoncé has pulled out of performing at Coachella, citing doctors' advice about keeping a less rigorous schedule while pregnant 🐝😭