Ranking Liz Lemon's "30 Rock" Boyfriends

For a hapless loser, Liz Lemon has done pretty well in the guy department. Here's a ranking of the men in her life.

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- Always around (has been in every season of 30 Rock)

- Makes Liz laugh

- Calls himself the love of Liz's life


- Currently married with an adopted son named Black Dennis

- Calls Liz "dummy"

- Beeper King was a career high for him


- British (cool accent)

- Fun on Nitrous oxide, if not at any other point

- Very willing to settle


- Hates Liz, and it's mutual

- Mocks Liz's past romantic failures

- Uses Britishisms that aren't real ("sweeps" for spring cleaning)


- He's a pilot, which is the next best thing to being an astronaut

- Away often enough that Liz isn't overwhelmed

- Shares a name with comedy legend Carol Burnett


- Wants to commit more than Liz does

- Cries, and it's very awkward

- Shares too many of Liz's neuroses and quirks


- Freakishly attractive

- He's a doctor (not a good one, but still)

- Jon fucking Hamm


- Completely awful at literally everything he does

- Serious safety hazard to be around

- Hooks for hands


- Put a ring on it (he and Liz are married, with children!)

- Genuinely good-natured

- Sells his van to help Liz renovate her apartment


- Not the brightest (sells his van to a "really nice young guy on meth")

- Perpetually unemployed

- Loves trampolines, even though they're death traps


- Sends flowers to his girlfriends

- Looking to settle down with someone

- Gets along with Liz's friends


- Gets along too well with Jack, which compromises his time with Liz

- Can't handle the fast-paced New York lifestyle

- Married to someone who isn't Liz


- He's an astronaut, which is the noblest and coolest profession

- Well-connected (also the king of Monaco)

- Will watch Dancing with the Stars


- Fictional

- But really, that's it!

- He's perfect