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    Posted on Jun 14, 2013

    How To Make A Sofia Coppola Movie

    You'll need a vapid lead and lots of existential angst. Oh, and a bed.

    1. Start with a seemingly vapid lead.

    2. But remember that she's actually just misunderstood.

    3. Make sure she's lost and confused.

    4. And having an existential crisis.

    5. Because she's trying to keep up with society's impossible demands.

    6. Or adjusting to a new identity.

    7. Or faced with responsibilities she can't handle.

    8. Whatever the case may be, she's trapped.

    9. The main character should spend a lot of time in bed.

    10. Because bed is a safe space.

    11. And also she's kind of lazy.

    12. Plus, beds can be shared. The possibilities are endless, really.

    13. Maybe she doesn't even need a bed.

    14. Criticize opulence.

    15. And celebrity culture.

    16. And excess.

    17. But also: embrace opulence.

    18. And celebrity culture.

    19. And excess.

    20. Tease an emotional core.

    21. But always focus on style over substance.

    22. The movie should look like a really well made music video.

    23. Like the best music video you can imagine.

    24. Poetic visuals go a long way.

    25. Distract the audience with bright lights.

    26. And costumes.

    27. And wigs.

    28. And NOISE.

    29. Use a modern pop score no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT.

    30. In the end, no one will mind if it feels a little vapid.

    31. Remember, you don't really have to SAY anything.

    32. You just have to pretend.

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