How Pure Are You: A 2013 Update

Purity tests were all the rage in the early days of the internet: here's an updated version for more recent sexy innovations.

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  1. 1. Have you sexted someone (without pictures)?

    I don't go for that dirtytalk.
    No, I save that for the bedroom.
    Yes, with people I was dating. It's fun.
    Yep. Sometimes two people at once. I'm kind of a sexting player.
    If I get a wrong number text, I respond with, "I want you inside me."
  2. 2. Have you sexted someone (with pictures)?

    Ugh, that's even worse. No.
    Nothing past a cute mirror shot, with maybe a little skin exposed.
    With enough prying and flattering, it's happened.
    I keep a whole stash of nudes just in case someone wants one.
    I've mass texted my genitals.
  3. 3. Have you slept with someone you met on Facebook?

    No, I don't sleep with strangers.
    No, but I've been tempted. It gets lonely at night.
    Yeah, but only once.
    Oh, sure. That's the best place to find casual sex.
    I unfriend people if they're not DTF.
  4. 4. Have you pleasured yourself to an ex's Facebook photos?

    Gross. I would never.
    No, that's what porn is for.
    Yes. I was a little drunk, OK?
    Just about every time he/she adds new ones.
    I do it constantly. And then I poke him/her.
  5. 5. Have you posted sexy photos on Facebook with the express purpose of attracting a mate?

    No, thanks. My mom sees that.
    I'm all about the cute angles, but I don't think that counts.
    I've posted some revealing photos. Nothing too scandalous, though.
    Yes, and it was worth it, even if I did miss out on a job.
    I just found out you can't post hardcore porn on Facebook. Does anyone know how to get my account reactivated?
  6. 6. Have you used Bang With Friends, which tells you which of your Facebook friends want to sleep with you?

    Bang With Friends
    I think I'm better off not knowing.
    I'm a little curious, but I wouldn't use an app for that.
    Sure. It can be an ego boost.
    Yes, I hate all the endless poking. Just fuck me already.
    Definitely, even though I've slept with most of them already.
  7. 7. Have you slept with someone you met on Twitter?

    No, because I watch Catfish.
    No, because the opportunity hasn't presented itself.
    Yes, but only after a few weeks of intimate @-ing.
    Most of my DMs are sexual invitations.
    All of my tweet-ups turn into orgies.
  8. 8. Have you masturbated on Skype for someone?

    Have you no shame?
    No. I came close once, no pun intended.
    I took my clothes off, but there was limited touching.
    Of course. How else am I supposed to keep in touch with my international lovers?
    I do it regularly, but I'm not sure who's watching, just the number of subscribers I have.
  9. 9. Have you exposed yourself on Chatroulette?

    That's horrifying.
    No. Maybe if someone really cute asked me to... But no.
    Yeah. Just for a second, though. Hardly anyone saw.
    I'm usually masturbating when I browse Chatroulette, so.
    I don't bother chatting unless I'm completely naked.
  10. 10. Have you gone on Chatroulette with the express purpose of seeing someone else naked?

    No. In fact, that's why I don't go on Chatroulette.
    Nah, but I saw a boob once and didn't exactly close my eyes.
    I mean, I had other reasons. Naked people was definitely part of it, though.
    There's no other compelling reason to go on Chatroulette.
    If I had one complaint about Chatroulette, it would be that some people keep their clothes on.
  11. 11. Have you used Grindr, OKCupid's app, or any other hook-up app?

    Never. I'm looking to make a real connection.
    In my most desperate moments, I've hovered over the download link. Couldn't follow through, though.
    I have a hook-up app that I browse. Look, don't touch.
    Yeah, hook-up apps are a great resource when I'm horny.
    That's really all I use my phone for. Who makes calls anymore?
  12. 12. Have you uploaded a video to XTube or another porn sharing site?

    What's XTube? Anyway, no.
    No, but I've taken a video or two for my private use.
    Just one, and you can't see my face. It was his/her idea!
    Several! If you've got it, flaunt it. ("It" is my junk.)
    I have more followers on XTube than on any other social networking site.
  13. 13. Have you gone on XTube or another porn sharing site with the express purpose of finding someone you know?

    Seriously, what's XTube?
    Of course not. I mean, if I happened to stumble on one, that would be OK...
    Yes. Doesn't everyone?
    That's the whole appeal of the site. I'll spend hours browsing for familiar faces and crotches.
    Not only that: I've appealed to many friends to start uploading their own porn. Share your beauty with the world!
  14. 14. Have you sent pictures of your genitals to someone on Snapchat?

    I would never even take a picture of my genitals.
    No, that seems like a bad idea. I'll show my junk off in person, thanks.
    Yes. The photo self-destructs. What's the harm?
    Isn't that what Snapchat is for?
    I've only ever Snapchatted nudes. And I get disappointed when they don't screencap.
  15. 15. Have you asked someone to send you pictures of his/her genitals on Snapchat?

    No! He/she would lose instant respect for me.
    Nah. If he/she wants to send me nudes, that's his/her call.
    Yeah, but I kind of played it off like a joke. You know, just in case.
    All the time. Can't hurt to ask, right?
    I actually sent out an all-caps group text about this.

How Pure Are You: A 2013 Update

You got: The Purest

You couldn't be purer. Even taking this quiz made you uncomfortable. You're aware of new technological innovations, but you're disappointed people are using them to sin faster. If you're not on eHarmony already, you should be.

The Purest
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You got: Mostly Pure

You have yet to fully come out of your shell, but you're not totally inexperienced. You've given sexting a thought, and you once almost took a photo in your underwear. Don't worry, you'll get there eventually.

Mostly Pure
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You got: Average Sinner

You're a sinner, but relax, so is everyone around you. When it comes to the internet, you recognize its many uses, but you also appreciate that it's made your sex life a whole lot easier. No judgment: you're human.

Average Sinner
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You got: Hardly Pure

Pure? Please. You're getting laid more than ever, all thanks to the magic of social networks and really flattering webcam pics. What's important is that you're enjoying yourself. And making use of the high-speed internet you paid for!

Hardly Pure
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You got: Blissfully Filthy

You don't have a pure bone in your body, and that's the way you like it. You are shamelessly sexual, and you love spreading that all over the internet. Your friends know to never open a text from you in public, but believe me, they appreciate the pics.

Blissfully Filthy
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