1. Smoking is cool.
2. Greasy hair is a good thing.
3. It's OK to kiss and tell, as long as it's in song.
4. Cynicism is the coolest.
5. Walk with your breasts pushed forward, no matter how awkward it feels.
6. Men are rats.
7. You can blow smoke in a teacher's face without consequences.
8. Seriously, though. If you want to look cool, you should smoke.
10. Your friends are just waiting till you leave the room to make fun of you.
11. The only thing cooler than smoking is smoking while drinking.
12. Be slutty now, before you're too old.
13. Hickies aren't tacky and embarrassing.
14. Your guardian angel will show up once you screw up your life sufficiently.
15. It's not OK for two men to express affection toward one another.
16. SMOKE.
17. A happy ending means changing yourself and compromising your morals for a guy.
18. And compromise is him taking off his leather jacket.
19. If a boy really likes you, he'll act insane for several minutes.
20. And all your friends will join in!
21. Cars can fly.
22. Anyway, are you smoking yet?
