Here’s the new poster for “Scary Movie V.”
1. OK, just a few questions.
1. Is Ted the Bear smoking weed? How is that a parody? He smoked weed in Ted.
2. Is Katrina Bowden’s tongue a Fuit Roll-Up? It’s definitely not a tongue.
3. Speaking of, is Katrina going to stay put or will she randomly vanish like Cerie on 30 Rock?
4. If Ashley Tisdale is sitting sideways, why is her head facing forward like that? Oh my God, is she possessed?
5. Why does Mike Tyson get to have an acting career?
6. Who is tweaking Mike Tyson’s nipple? (Mystery solved — it’s Mike Tyson.)
7. Where the hell is Lindsay Lohan?
8. Is Charlie Sheen doing the popcorn trick, and if so, why is he sitting next to young children? Upsetting.
9. If Katt Williams’ bible says “I put the sin in sinister,” do you think he’s fun at church?
10. Do any of these people know they’re part of a terrible franchise?
11. What outdated movie monster parody is pulling everyone in for a hug?
12. SERIOUSLY, WHERE IS LINDSAY.
Scary Movie 5 hits theaters April 19.
- It's Inauguration Day — Donald Trump will be sworn in as the 45th president of the United States of America at 12 p.m. ET 🇺🇸
- One of the nation's top legal groups is seeking a wide array of records from four federal agencies to challenge Trump's potential business conflicts.
- Notorious Mexican drug lord Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán has been extradited to the United States to face multiple charges.
- Gingers rejoice! A redhead emoji may be coming your way soon 🙌