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    18 Brutally Honest Confessions From A Club Promoter

    It's not as glamorous as you think.

    1. All of our friends have muted us on social media.

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    We've been kicked out of every Whatsapp group and hidden from every Facebook timeline because no one wants to see us endlessly campaigning for our club nights.

    2. Which is kinda fair, because we do spend a lot of time coercing our friends to come along to quiet nights.

    3. And then we can't hang out with them because we're too busy.

    4. We're not all glamorous party animals who do heaps of cocaine all the time.

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    In reality, we're overworked, under-caffeinated, and exhausted.

    5. But we do know when you've taken drugs.


    We're not stupid; we know what you're up to. Just be subtle and don't make us kick you out.

    6. We sometimes have to work from 10am-5am.


    All day, errryday means something totally different to us.

    7. Which means we always look like crap.


    We wear a hat to cover greasy hair and clothes that allow us to climb ladders or run fast in case of a dance floor emergency.

    8. During the daytime, our offices are depressing af.

    9. Our after party = the clean up.

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    When the club closes and everyone is moving onto another party, we have gear to put away, people to kick out, a social life to shun.

    10. Dealing with ridiculous rider requests from DJs is as annoying as you'd imagine.

    11. And picking up and dropping off artists from the airport makes for a lot of awkward car journeys.


    If we have a driver's license, you are expected to pick them up and drop them, no matter what time their flight is, and no matter what mood we're in.

    12. That said, dining with DJs and musicians is usually pretty spectacular.


    Before a gig, we have to take our acts out for dinner.

    13. Our job is one of the few where we are applauded if we show up hungover.

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    Every now and again, we accidentally get loose on a school night. And our colleagues couldn't be prouder of us for showing up to work on time on a hangover.

    14. People forget that there is a person behind the club mailouts and text outs.


    People never realise that then they're unsubscribing from club texts, they're replying to a burner phone and a real person. We see all your "fuck off and die" texts. And they hurt.

    15. We can't always get our pals in for free when a show is sold out.

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    We're not just being difficult, we're literally not always allowed to bend the rules.

    16. When we hear that people had a good time at our night, we feel incredibly proud.

    17. And deep down, we know we have the best job because we get paid to listen to amazing music everyday.

    18. We'd just like an extra day in the week to recover.