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The 11 Bloody Awful Stages Of Getting Your Period

I like to call it "Moon Blood." I think it sounds magical. What?

Six days prior to the Moon Blood: It suddenly feels like people in lines are standing much too close to you.

Four days prior to Moon Blood: Your super-nice co-worker hums/chews gum/breathes and you almost throw your computer at them.

Two days prior to Moon Blood: You feel like a tranquilized bear...like a horny. tranquilized. bear.

One day prior to the Moon Blood: You tear up or straight-up cry.

Day 1 of Moon Blood: The Warning.

Day 2 of Moon Blood: The Storm.

Day 3 of Moon Blood.

Day 4 of Moon Blood: The eye of the storm.

Day 4 of Moon Blood: "JK I'm back, bitch."

Day 5 of Moon Blood: Why is it that color? Should I call a doctor?

Day 6 of Moon Blood: "JK I'm still blood."

Day 7 of Moon Blood: Process continues for as long as your ovaries choose.

Being a woman sure can be magical.