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    If Tampon Instructions Were Actually Helpful

    This manual should be in every box.

    Tampon diagrams are straight-up confusing. Like, what even is this? And why is she standing and how is her vagina almost completely vertical on her lower stomach???

    So here's an easier version to follow.

    Step one: Hey there! This must be your first time using tampons, because why else would you be looking at the instructions? First of all don't worry, we're gonna get through this together. <3

    Step 2: Since this is your first time, you're gonna want to wash your hands first, things will probably get messy. (ie. You may need to stick your finger around a bunch before realizing where your vagina is.)

    Step 3: Unwrap the tampon (by unwrap I mean JUST the thin plastic outside bag not the hard plastic!)

    Step 4: Sit on the toilet.

    Step 5: OK this is where it gets a little harder, locate your vagina.

    Step 6: Holding the grippy part in the middle of it insert the tampon up your hoo-ha until you get to said grippy part, then STOP. (DON'T INSERT THE WHOLE FRIGGIN’ THING, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THAT’S WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE YOU SHOULD DO.)

    Step 7: Shove the little tube coming out the bottom upwards dispensing that hard dry cotton bullet into your hoo-ha. See that wasn't so bad? Now you can throw away the plastic part.

    Step 8: You're going to have to do this every month for a very long time so go get yourself a tub of ice cream and a box of cookies for a job well done, put a heating pad on your lower belly and watch some bad TV, you deserve it.