Skip To Content
  •   Acamazing   badge
  • Yasss badge

A Day In The Life Of An Ugly Renaissance Baby

"Ugly babying all day every day." Babies via

6 a.m.: You wake up with a goat's ass in your face.

8 a.m.: It's time for your weird tiny pear Renaissance baby breakfast.

Followed by a quick nap on your mother's extremely round breast.

10 a.m.: After your nap, you get a morning bath and circumcision.

11 a.m.: Art class modeling.

Followed by some stimulating conversation about being an ugly Renaissance baby.

12:30 p.m.: Bathroom break!

1 p.m.: Time for lunch.

Eat up.

2 p.m.: Hangout time with the fam.

All the family togetherness starts to stress you out so you go off for some alone time.

Uh oh, while you're alone you get snatched up by an...eagle? Hawk? Eagawk?

The "eagawk" or whatever, drops you off in the desert.

Don't worry, this lady and cow find you. Even though you're SUPER small.

3:30 p.m.: You're returned to your mother's arms. You try to act cool about it.

4 p.m.: Music lessons!

Followed by a quick...snack.

And a nap.

After your nap you chill with some friends.

Straight chillin'.

7 p.m.: Before you know it, it's time for dinner.

To listen to a bedtime story.

And drift off to ugly Renaissance baby sleep.

Goodnight, ugly renaissance baby, goodnight.