11 Ways To Totally Nail Sex With Any Woman
Light caress her all over with guac.
Give her flowers in only your boxers.
Lightly caress her with the flowers all over her body.
Remember women are sensitive in places other than their boobs; flutter your eyelashes against her elbows.
Tell her that her eyes are like "two giant pools of guac" (regardless of their color.)
Gently stroke chocolates all over her bed.
Whisper "extra guac" in her ear.
Put little cat ears on your penis. Women like cute things.
Better yet, hide several actual cats in your boxers for a delightful surprise.
Actually, just put out a thing of guac and chips with some cats.
Hang out with the cats and eat guac together, maybe watch some Arrested Development.
Have bloated guac sex (try to ignore the cats watching you).
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