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11 Sex Moves That Will Completely Shock Him

He won't know what hit him.

1. Gently trace his chest with your fingertip.

2. Tell him how sexy you think his shoulders are.

3. Lean in closer and clarify, "Your shoulders, NOT your knees."

4. Make sure he knows where his shoulders are by kissing them.

5. Now point to his knees and remind him you don't mean his knees because you find knees "DISGUSTING."

6. Explain how you think knees are gross because they look like weird, eyeless baby heads.

7. Grab a marker and draw eyeless babies on his knees to get your point across.

8. Using the marker continue on and write, "NO KNEES" all over his walls.

9. Quickly code a virus into his computer so any time he types anything it responds by writing "NO KNEES" over and over.

10. Shave "NO KNEES" on his dog.

11. Just when he thinks you're done pull out your right boob and yell "NO KNEES." Run out the door.

*No animals were harmed in the making of this post.*