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11 Sex Moves That Will Completely Shock Him

He won't know what hit him.

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1. Gently trace his chest with your fingertip.

Mmmmmm.
Loryn Brantz / BuzzFeed

Mmmmmm.

2. Tell him how sexy you think his shoulders are.

So. Sexy.
Loryn Brantz / BuzzFeed

So. Sexy.

3. Lean in closer and clarify, "Your shoulders, NOT your knees."

SHOULDERS ONLY.
Loryn Brantz / BuzzFeed

SHOULDERS ONLY.

4. Make sure he knows where his shoulders are by kissing them.

XXX.
Loryn Brantz / BuzzFeed

XXX.

5. Now point to his knees and remind him you don't mean his knees because you find knees "DISGUSTING."

Seriously, ew.
Loryn Brantz / BuzzFeed

Seriously, ew.

6. Explain how you think knees are gross because they look like weird, eyeless baby heads.

YIKES.
Loryn Brantz / BuzzFeed

YIKES.

7. Grab a marker and draw eyeless babies on his knees to get your point across.

DO you??????????????
Loryn Brantz / BuzzFeed

DO you??????????????

8. Using the marker continue on and write, "NO KNEES" all over his walls.

Fuck his walls.
Loryn Brantz / BuzzFeed

Fuck his walls.

9. Quickly code a virus into his computer so any time he types anything it responds by writing "NO KNEES" over and over.

Ruin that computer.
Loryn Brantz / BuzzFeed

Ruin that computer.

10. Shave "NO KNEES" on his dog.

Good boy.
Loryn Brantz / BuzzFeed

Good boy.

11. Just when he thinks you're done pull out your right boob and yell "NO KNEES." Run out the door.

He actually won't know what hit him.
Loryn Brantz / BuzzFeed

He actually won't know what hit him.

*No animals were harmed in the making of this post.*

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