I'll make a wreath out of your teeth if you don't admire my crotched Bible covers.
Because let's face it: You're the best company you'll ever find.
And we used to think Richard Dawson's kissing was sheer debauchery -- now the popular game show should be renamed 'How Fast Can Grandma Scream Vagina?'
Fancy yourself the next Top Chef? Find out where you really rank among the culinary elite.
While I'm happy to see him arrive, I'm never more elated than when he leaves.
From Olympic gold to golden highlights, I'm just glad my beloved granny isn't here to see this.