A while back, we wrote a couple of posts where people revealed what it's like to marry for money. In the comments, more readers from the BuzzFeed Community shared their own stories of what happened when they married for money. Here's what they had to say:
Note: Some responses were pulled from this Reddit thread by u/itscool112, this thread by u/thatmissy, and this thread by u/skinreccos.
1. "My parents married each other for money and were pretty manipulative to get their earnings. However, when the truth was revealed years later, they realized that they both needed to change their ways. With a lot of couples therapy and time management for each other, my parents came to actually love each other."
"The real test was when both bank accounts were frozen and I was about 3 years old. Fortunately, they stuck with it and stayed together. As of today, they are happily married and are raising one more child before she leaves the nest."
—22, New York
2. "I was engaged to my soulmate when he blindsided me and broke up with me. I was in the depths of depression for nearly a year when I met my current husband. He’s nice and we get on well, but I knew I’d never be in love. He was financially stable and responsible and could offer me good support for my education, amazing travels, a beautiful home, and two wonderful children. Life is very good, but we’ll never be in love. I crave that some days so much."
"We’re not affectionate, and I wonder what effect that’ll have on our children. I often think that we’ll separate later in life, and I’ll find someone who makes me feel that way again. I did the practical thing; I can’t complain, but sometimes I’m sad."
—46, Canada
3. "I married for love; she married me for money. I told her I was a hardworking man, not a rich man. It was great in the beginning — we were happy and traveled. I would bring home treats and special gifts like jewelry from my work travels. Then it became expected and demanded, like an entitlement. Then my father helped buy me a condo for my daughter. It was pretty much all his money and my inheritance from my mom that bought the place. So when it came to the deed, I put his name and my name on the title. My wife blew a gasket when she found out; she expected to be an equal name on the title."
"Things spiraled downward from there, and she plotted the divorce for two and a half years, squeezing and hiding every penny she could steal from our joint account. In the end, she pretty much ended up with nothing, and my daughter will end up with everything."
—65, Hawaii
4. "My mom did this. She had me at 19 and didn’t know English. An American man asked her to marry him, so she did — he HAD money. He’s 16 years older than she is, he’s now broke, a terrible person overall, and she’s miserable. He also cheated on her two years ago."
—Anonymous
5. "I met him in a business school class. He’s about 22 years older than I am. He's the heir to one of the biggest family fortunes in the state. He gave his lecture about entrepreneurship, and then there was a reception for honors students after. We started talking, and I could tell he was interested. I gave him my number. Fast-forward, we dated a bit, got married two years ago when I got pregnant, and now I’m expecting our second child. Everything was perfect in the beginning, and I have no regrets. However, being married to a man who has an ex-wife and already has kids has been tough. I’ve been able to live out my dream as a stay-at-home mom. I’m in all the right social clubs, and there are plenty of other wives and moms to hang out with and make playdates. But his ex-wife is really involved in his business, and she resents me. My stepchildren are distant and think I’m just a gold digger."
"Their daughter is roughly my age, and I’ve never been able to bond with her despite many attempts. What it has led to is that I’m pretty lonely most days. Just me, the dog, and my year-old daughter. He works all the time and travels a lot, so most of the time, it’s just me in this big house. I think my 'friends' are superficial and fake, not real friends. I never want for anything materially (I have a pretty sizable household and personal allowance), but I just want to travel and do the things women my age do. All the money in the world isn't worth it if you're basically confined to your house for days or even weeks at a time."
—24, Alabama
6. "I tried. I swear I tried. The guy talked nonstop and knew everything there was to know. I loved hanging out on the boat and going to the cottage, but he would never shut up. Although he was very generous, I couldn't handle it. Never again."
7. "I experienced a bit of both: marrying for love and money. It was love at first sight, but he was raised in a well-to-do family. He had his own company, and I was a dirt-poor farm girl working in a hospital kitchen. Well, it worked out, sort of — we've been married 24 years now, only now he's 80 and we live on his SSI. His company went bankrupt 10 years ago, and he's trying to do a start-up, but no one takes him seriously at his age. We live check to check, and we're on SNAP/EBT."
"I'm used to being poor, but it's tough going for my near-deaf sweetheart. He keeps going on about the dream house we'll have someday, and I know damn well that's hopeless. I just have to hope he lives long enough until I can collect Social Security."
—60, Washington
8. "My mom married for money and status...a classic narcissistic trait. She's delighted with her choices, but neither of her children is because the kind of person who marries for money is usually a HORRIBLE person."
9. "First, I had a college romance and married for love. We were married for eight years, and he never had one single job (he also had a kid from a previous relationship), so yay! I got to take care of a whole family at 19. He cheated the whole time. Lied. Left me with his kid for long periods of time while he was doing goodness knows what. I was in the military (to pay for said family), so I couldn’t just come and go as he did. My second marriage was when I was close to my 30s, and I was financially stable and doing well. I didn’t want that to happen again, so I made sure the person I married was at least financially on my level. His family is loaded. We had a prenup so that I’d be protected in case of divorce. Turns out, he's HORRIBLE with money."
"He is an alcoholic and has a gambling addiction. He makes a lot, but he spends it as fast as it comes in. He kept all of that a secret until he hit rock bottom. I had no idea what kind of debt we were in; I signed my own death warrant, though. Before I knew what was happening, we had kids. I wanted to stay home and raise them. On paper, it would work easily. We had three babies at home when I found out what was happening. Now my kids are teens, and I can’t get a job that would fully support me and my kids because I don’t have a car or clothes, have health problems, and have a 16-year job gap. So I’m stuck. You’d say, 'Leave him! Take half of everything!' Two things: There isn’t anything to halve, and we have a prenup saying I can’t touch his money and he can’t touch mine. Right this very minute, he’s blackout drunk in our backyard — like he is every single night."
—46, Missouri
10. "My dad's third wife and (kinda) my mom, his second wife, married him for the money. It was all about money. Everything was about money and looks. That’s all anyone talked about. Now my dad's 20-years-younger ex–third wife lives with her vapid, emotionally messed-up daughter who supports her, despite having gotten everything when my dad died. She went deeply into debt expecting more. What a waste of a family. She started dating my dad like 10 years before he left my mom. She blames my dad as if he was some controlling monster, but she was a hot 19-year-old. Then she got rich in real estate. She has zero excuses for the train wreck her life has become."
"Despite everything, my mom went on to kick ass all by herself. But my mom was also the classic, angry first wife despite being the hot second wife. So there’s that. As someone who married a poor man and now supports myself and raises kids mostly alone, I want to wring all of their necks for the stupid things they freak out over and make important. I wouldn’t choose that life again in a million years. It’s misery. Backbiting. Catty. Depressed, aimless kids. Petty drama."
—Anonymous
11. "My cousin married for money. She is really pretty, and the guy is really rich. Our families aren't so close — that's why we had no idea about her family's financial situation. Their eldest brother and sister-in-law cut them off after their parents died. She was doing her master's and was taking care of her three sisters. It just became too much for her, and she agreed to marry the guy."
"The guy had the longest crush on my cousin; he is very loving. Now that I am a little older and can have 'grown-up talks,' she shares her feelings. She really respects her husband and is really grateful to him for taking care of her family."
12. "My cousin is on husband number three, living it up in the United Arab Emirates. I never liked her as a person; she always prided herself on her wealth and spoke down to me as though she was the successful one for marrying rich men. The thing that pisses me off the most is that she is cunning and has turned her current husband against his son."
"Positives? She does make really nice food."
—Anonymous
13. "I was 25, had just quit a job, and had $200 to my name. He was 35, a hedge fund manager whose dad was a successful executive (aka a millionaire). Fairy-tale romance, quickie wedding, and 10 years later, it’s a completely mixed bag. He never wanted to have an 'us' life. He never wanted to share anything."
"He still goes to the grocery store to buy his own snacks (after I go and ask what he wants). He won’t jointly file taxes with me. And the most annoying thing is that because he’s always had money, he makes all decisions on a whim. Want to go to Las Vegas this weekend? It was exciting in the beginning, but 10 years later, I guess I wanted a more pragmatic and equal relationship."
—35, New York
14. "My ex-mother-in-law was widowed with two young children, leaving them dirt poor. She got married to a family friend from a very wealthy family a year later. My ex-husband and brother-in-law were privately educated, and they've always lived in huge houses. I don't think the ex-mother-in-law and her husband are in love at all, but she was under pressure to marry from his family. They get along OK, and they're OK people. I can't really blame her for jumping at the arrangement, as it's a good one."
"As a parent now, I wouldn't rule out doing the same in her position if my kids could grow up with that life instead of in poverty. They were able to set us up with a deposit for our first home, which would not have happened from my background."
And finally...
15. "I was emotionally blackmailed by my mom into marrying into a super-wealthy family. We ourselves were not wealthy at all. Before marriage, it was all stressful being on the poor side of the marriage. After the marriage, I learned that the seriously wealthy sometimes had serious money problems. Very soon after marriage, I had to learn a whole lot about how money works and got into a few fights to make sure that the money remained with us. At least we are wealthy, if not super wealthy now."
"Now it’s quite nice. To be honest, I never realized while growing up how much better life is when you are rich — like, not just the material stuff, but the freedom."
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.