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15 Shocking Ways Married People Found Out Their Spouse Was Cheating

"He said, 'When I come back, I'll decide if we stay married.' And I said, 'That's not how this works. We're getting a divorce.'"

Recently, SJ — known as @living_with_sj on TikTok — asked fellow TikTokers to talk about "how they found out their ex-spouse was cheating." Along with the prompt, she shared her own shocking story — and how she got through it.

TikToker SJ in a video with the caption: "Tell me how you found out your ex spouse was cheating"
@living_with_sj / Via tiktok.com

Here's her full story, which began with an unexpected text:

@living_with_sj

Tell me how you caught your ex spouse cheating . #stitch #fyp #freedom

♬ original sound - SJ

"Mine was working out of the country. One time, when he came back for some R&R, which was supposed to be two weeks, he was acting super weird," she says in the video. "So, he ends up leaving a week early, and then sends me a text saying, 'Hey, I don’t want to talk to you for an entire week. I’m not gonna answer your phone calls because I wanna make sure that marriage is something I really want.'"

SJ shares her divorce story in the TikTok video with the caption: "Mind you, we have a 1-year-old baby at the time"
@living_with_sj / Via tiktok.com

"[He] completely ghosted, and I even tried to look on the credit card, but the password was changed. So then, I called the number on the back of the card, and since I’m an authorized user, they told me the recent charges, which were hotels, bars, restaurants..."

SJ continues the TikTok story with the caption: "I was an authorized user on our shared credit card" and adds a rolling-eyes emoji
@living_with_sj / Via tiktok.com

"I messaged him saying, 'Hey, I know what you’re doing,' and he said, 'When I come back, I’ll decide if we stay married.' And I said, 'That's not how this works. We’re getting a divorce.'"

SJ finishes the TikTok with the caption: "Boy bye"
@living_with_sj / Via tiktok.com

After SJ's TikTok blew up with over 2.3 million views, she uploaded another video where she spoke about her life post-divorce, the process of grieving, and her intention behind sharing her story — to help others who have gone through similar situations. SJ also embraced some life-changing perspectives: "1: Choosing to get better, not bitter. 2: Trusting God. 3: Choosing forgiveness," she told BuzzFeed.

SJ talks in a TikTok with one caption that reads, "One day, you will see the betrayal as a blessing in disguise"
@living_with_sj / Via tiktok.com

In the comments of the original video, some people opened up about the shocking and heartbreaking ways they discovered their ex-spouse was cheating. Here are their stories:

1. "Mine started coming home super late after work and started ignoring my calls. Five months passed, and he came home with a mark on his neck. I said bye!"

maribelgarcia355

2. "18.5 years of marriage, and for the first time ever, I went through his phone. Everything was right there."

reneec05

3. "Confirmed when my daughter came home from his wedding with his new wife. In her vows, she said when they started dating."

upde2

4. "My ex ghosted me for two weeks, came back saying he was teaching me a lesson. The door locks were changed."

amri19754

Netflix

5. "Another woman left him a voicemail, saying, 'You haven't come to see us for a month.' He had a child with someone else — I never knew until that moment."

abejitabella

6. "Someone I didn't know, who worked as a nurse with my ex, came into my restaurant. She asked, 'Are you Aaron?' I said yes. She told me everything."

aaronallen795

7. "Mine had a second Facebook messenger hidden in a fake calculator app [on his phone]."

abby_1a

MTV

8. "I saw a very explicit text between him and a friend of mine. Within 10 minutes, I let her husband know what was going on. He begged me not to call the husband, but I did. I filed for divorce, as this wasn't the first time."

misstywise

9. "After he died of a drug overdose, family told me about all the affairs he had during our 20 years of being together."

mlobello

10. "I found a silver heart necklace against the wall behind his nightstand. I'm allergic to silver, and he's pawned all of my jewelry."

chillyjilly80

11. "I busted her behind buildings with other men. She said, 'That wasn't me.' I'm divorced now."

christopherzalapa

NBC

12. "I found him with her in our bed, in our house. I was 36 weeks pregnant."

kellymatcamenzo

13. "He was acting shady and starting fights so he could sleep on the couch. He left the house and didn't come home for two days. His sister told me what was up!"

shanesbabe

14. "All it took to realize: He started placing his phone face down. They think we don't notice the small changes..."

zoesometime

And finally:

15. "He started having sexual conversations in his sleep — while saying her name."

forever_learning2021

CBS Television Distribution

What's a shocking way you discovered your spouse was cheating? Tell us your story in the comments below.

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.