We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to talk about their experiences living with their parents as an adult, and they got real about their struggles and joys — and even shared common misconceptions about what it's actually like.
Here are the eye-opening results:
1. "Some of us don't have a choice. I'm disabled and live with my mother because I'm incapable of maintaining a full-time job and affording my own place."
"I feel so embarrassed whenever someone asks about my living situation because I know that it will involve judgment and probably a whole explanation of my disability, which A) shouldn't be necessary and B) involves more judgment."
2. "I never moved out. I’m 32 and live with my mom. There’s no benefit for me to move out. I pay my mom 'rent,' buy my own food, pay my own bills and split bills for the house. She gives me my privacy and treats me like a roommate!"
"Why would I want to give my money to someone else to rent and sit in a one-bedroom apartment when I have a whole basement and backyard? Or, split rent with a bunch of other random roommates? Makes sense to live at home for me."
3. "Due to both personal and family issues, I moved in with my mother. We lived together around three years. It was three years of hell."
4. "There's the assumption that we're children in adult bodies who still let our parents clean up after us, cook for us, etc. I pay rent to my mom, do most of the housework, pay for half of all the groceries, and cook 90% of the time."
"I just can't afford to live in my own in my city, so why live with a stranger I could end up hating instead of with my mom, who I know I get along with?"
5. "Quite a few friends of mine in their mid-20s live with their parents. Some moved back after a few years of flat-sharing, either due to the pandemic or wanting to save up for a deposit. Some never left home. Some parents made adjustments to their home, so that they live independently of each other in the same house."
"Most get on with their parents pretty well. Most pay rent and their share of groceries and bills. All are employed — and yet, people tend to assume they're unemployed, living rent-free, and/or ashamed of living with their parents. Weird."
6. "There's the endless questions from your parents. 'Where are you going? Are you working today? When will you be back? Can I borrow your car? What is this package? Where is the mail?'"
"It’s exhausting."
7. "I receive a lot of judgment for living with my father at the age of 27. I moved in when I went to graduate school close by, and I have stayed here because it saves me so much money. One misconception is that because I live at home, I either must not make enough to live on my own OR I want my parents to pay for everything."
8. "The sheer relief and happiness I felt when I got to move back home due to COVID had everything to do with the fact that I did not like living in university dorms because of the atmosphere there — not only in the dorms but in the university itself."
"I have amazing parents and a wonderful support system, so I love being home so much."
9. "I am grateful for the time I lived with my parents after finishing my bachelor's degree. I was able to take that time to figure out what I wanted to really do, get some work experience under my belt, and get my master's degree before moving out on my own. It was definitely more of a roommate-type situation."
"My parents didn't pry much into my life or question me on what I was doing, and I wasn't embarrassed to be living with them. My mom has expressed how she enjoyed me and my siblings living with her as adults; she liked being part of that journey and not just viewing it from social media or phone calls. While I'm happy to be on my own now, I think my relationship with my parents wouldn't be how it is now if I didn't have that experience as an adult.
10. "I can't afford to live on my own. I have a full-time job in addition to being a full-time graduate student. Student loans have put me over 100k in debt."
"My basic costs of living while also trying to pay off some of my debt ends up being more than my paycheck is."
11. "I had to move back home with my kid after my divorce. It’s been a huge not having to pay rent while paying for childcare (which costs more than rent in my area) and having help with my kid, and my kid has a great relationship with their grandparents."
12. "My dad didn't get the concept that you can be making more than them and still need to live under their roof. I had an enormous amount of school debt and had moved home after a mental breakdown, and the environment I was stuck in during COVID was and is still very toxic. We can be doing okay income-wise and still be struggling to tread water financially."
"I no longer speak to one of my parents because they couldn’t stand not being the highest earner. I would rather live out of my car than ever have to do that again. Now, they don’t even know where I live."
13. "My elderly mother and I could both afford to live independently but choose to live together, and we're both better off. She's in good shape for 78 but has some physical and cognitive decline, and everyone — her, I, and my siblings — are happier with her not living alone."
"Some people try to bag on me for living with my mom, but the opinion of someone who would use caring for their elders against another person is someone whose opinion doesn't count."
14. "I liked it. I was a newly single mother in my early 20s without a single clue what to do. My mother was respectful of my space as an adult and parent, while also supportive emotionally and financially."
"I’m in my mid-30s now, remarried and in a home of my own, and sometimes I still miss living with her."
15. I'm Chinese American, and I live at home with my parents. In American society, the expectation is that you're supposed to move out by the time you're 18, and if you're an adult who still lives at home, it's considered taboo. It's not like that in my family."
16. "I'm from the country Panama, and here, it's rare to move out during uni or immediately after. In my case, I live in a five-story building with all my family (my parents, sister, and me on the first floor, and all my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents directly above us) — and I think it's one of the best things to ever happen to our family."
"We know we can rely on each other for just about anything, and I don't feel pressured to leave my home. We respect each other's boundaries and privacy. In my country, it's also normal to not move out of the family house until you get married or until you can stand on your own two feet without huge debts."
17. "I’m 33 and have lived at home since graduating from college. Before the pandemic, I was out of the house for most of the day, and it was just nice not having to come home to an empty house. Now that I am working from home, I truly appreciate the company."
"My dad is essentially my coworker, and I am his unofficial tech support."
18. "With my mom, 'her house, her rules' still applied. I wasn’t allowed to leave without telling her, I almost got kicked out when I stayed at my boyfriend's house overnight, my 'bed' wasn’t my bed anymore — it was hers."
"My room was my mom's. Everything I thought I had at my parents' house wasn’t mine when I became an adult."
19. "Even though it's a privilege to even have the option, I think people don't realize (or don't remember) how difficult it is to have lived on your own and have to move back home. I had so much freedom for the first time in my life, and I'd gotten used to it. Smash cut to after the pandemic, and I'm pushing 30, back in my childhood bedroom."
20. "I think it differs a lot depending on the type of family you have, but for me, it's a constant feeling of pressure. I live and work in an area where there are pretty much no houses available, and when they are, they're snatched up immediately."
"The topic of how long until I get approved for a house (aka, get out of theirs) is a conversation almost daily now, and I'm constantly feeling anxious and stressed about how much longer I'll need to stay in my parents' home."
And finally...
21. "I lived at home until I was 26, having returned from university at 21. I absolutely loved every minute of it, and if it was considered socially acceptable, I would have stayed longer."
"I've lived in my own home for about four and a half years, and I still miss living with my parents."
—gd91
What are other common misconceptions about what it's like living with your parents as an adult? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.