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    The (Practically) Official Guide To Concert-Going

    Living from concert to concert? Suffering from a post-concert existential crisis? You are not alone! You can now find all of your odd eccentricities in one convenient place!

    1. Attempt to buy tickets when they first go on sale. Fail miserably and pay an exuberant amount for crappy-ish tickets.

    2. Download the group/singer's music. All of it. You're going to fall in love with their music anyway, so there's no reason to put off the inevitable.

    3. Check the setlist of previous concerts and listen to all relevant music excessively. Wouldn't want to be taken off guard by anything.

    4. Pick out perfect concert outfit that allows for perfect range of movement. Make sure that nothing on your clothing can be thrusted too far away from your torso. It's hard enough to keep from hitting the people around you with your flailing arms.

    5. Day of concert comes. Travel to venue listening solely to music that you are going to hear that night and attempting to memorize those last few words that you just couldn't seem to memorize those first 394 times.

    6. Arrive at venue. Go pee/buy drinks and food/buy merch because once you sit down, you are NOT getting back up.

    7. Tolerate the opening act. Comment on their sound snobbishly. You didn't come to see them after all.

    8. Freak out as the main event comes to the stage. Dance like crazy while screaming every songs' lyrics at the stage at the top of your lungs. Lose your voice on your favorite song.

    9. Regain your voice for the rest of the set only to find that your feet feel like you've just run a marathon. But then again, so does your heart and soul, so everything works out.

    10. Post-concert reflection. You never thought that you could connect to anyone so deeply as you did with that artist during those 2 hours.

    11. Get home and fall asleep singing one of the songs on the setlist. It seems as though that song is going to be stuck in your head for days.

    12. Day-after-concert hungover feeling. What happened last night? And why do I hurt EVERYWHERE? Various other concert-specific confusing questions arise as necessary (i.e. after Ke$ha concert: "Why the HELL is there glitter in my bra?!)

    13. Post-concert depression. That amazing thing that you were looking forward to seemed to pass so quickly. Slight existential crisis.

    14. Next concert is coming up. Transition from listening from only one group to only another (slowly might be best for your psyche).

    15. Repeat.