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As A Handshaking Critic, I'll Tell You If I'd Shake Your Hand Or Run Away Screaming

Would I Shake Your Hand? Quiz

Are your hands sweaty?

What is your grip strength?

Have you trimmed your nails?

Tell me about your shake speed

What are you saying to me as you shake my hand?

And are you gonna love it?

Don't touch me. Don't look at me. You don't deserve my hand, nor my handshake. You are scum. Your hand is gross, and you are WEIRD. Leave. Right now. NOW!

person in blue long sleeve shirt showing right hand

No, absolutely not. Never. I will never shake your hand.

I don't really want to do this... but I'm going to anyways. It's unpleasant and awkward, and it's all your fault. Let's never do this again.

Yes...reluctantly

I'm just gonna turn the other way and pretend like I never saw you. No hard feelings. Your hand and mine aren't meant to be.

Just no

Yeah fine, I'll shake your hand. Solid hand, not too messed up. Deserving of my shake.

Sure, I guess

You worked hard to get here. It's been a perilous effort and I know you've struggled along the way. But you made it. You can finally exhale. Come here buddy, give me that hand. I'm gonna take you to hand-shaking heaven.

Get your hand all over mine. Let's shake

I think you need to get this checked out. I tried to shake your hand but found myself in the space time continuum. I'm lost in parallel realities and can't ever be whole again. It's all your fault.

Your hands are not hands, but portals to the 4th dimension

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As A Handshaking Critic, I'll Tell You If I'd Shake Your Hand Or Run Away Screaming

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