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An English Girl In America

It would seem our friends across the pond do things a little different to us

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Recently I went on holiday to the sunshine state of Florida, as it was my first time to the US I thought I would take some notes on how they differ from the British. I'm a hoot I know

When you order “shrimp” what you will in fact get is prawns


A lot of us Brits are already wary of the chips/crisps conundrum however what I didn’t realise that American shrimp is actually prawns. So when I ordered shrimp pasta I was a little surprised. Don’t get me wrong it was still delicious but it makes me wonder what do they call shrimps?

The word “salad” is used loosely


When I see the words salad bar I expect some green leaves, tomatoes that sort of thing. America however decided that this was too limiting and went crazy. Not really sure how mac and cheese or chicken wings count as salad but it made saying I am only having a salad more questionable

Speaking of food… Dippin Dots good. Corndogs bad.


Whoever thought to flash freeze ice cream should be hailed as the god they are. They are little balls of joy and definitely something the UK needs to invest in stat!

Brits are John Snowing it when it comes to burgers


Basically we know nothing. It’s like Americans have to take secret classes to know how to create the perfect burger. There was one in particular at Sizzler that made me just want to die at that moment as nothing would ever be as good as that again

They don’t have roundabouts

I kept wondering why it took forever at the lights then I realised if this was England there would be a roundabout to move things along

Driving in general is super confusing


I wasn’t even the one behind the wheel and I still had a little melt down. The road signs are confusing af and without access to glorious 4G gps was limited. Not to mention the cars are huge

Talking of huge, everything is huge!

Nicci Contento

Like everything: parking spaces, doors, portion sizes, beds, fridges. Everything. Don’t get me wrong this can be really awesome, for example my double bed at home can longer compete having slept on what I can only assume is a bed for giants

Cubicles have really big gaps at the bottom


In the UK we are shut into our cubicles that way we are safe from any zombie attacks when we are most vulnerable. America… not so much. Maybe they don’t like not knowing if someone is in there? (This might be a Florida thing as I only visited one state)

You do not ignore the red hand

Jaywalking is illegal in America. Ok giving the fact their roads are super huge and dangerous I kind of get this one. But it seems a little overkill to make against the law to cross if nothing is coming

Security guards will make you want to spill your guts


Trying to get into the US for the first time was scary af. No matter how innocent your intentions are, you start to feel guilty. I wanted to start confessing all my sins there and then: “it was me who took the chocolate from the downstairs fridge when I was 12!”

Will someone please teach these people how to queue!


When I was in Florida I went to Disney World and Universal Studios therefore I got my fair share of queuing. But Americans seem to queue horizontally, spreading out filling every bit. This is wrong! You must stand one behind each other in an orderly fashion. Also saving a spot for your friends is strictly forbidden in England, punishable by exile

Finally, the night is dark and full of adverts


There were adverts everywhere, you think London is bad. PAH you are so very wrong. If there is a wall, there’s an advert on it. Even benches are advert spaces. Don’t even get me started on TV ads, why must CSI stop so you can tell me about the latest cancer drug that may cause a million side effects but I must definitely ask my doctor about it right now! Never again will I complain that we have to buy a TV licence for the BBC. For not having American adverts between my episodes of Doctor Who I would give up a limb

All in all, they may be a America maybe be a crazy and strange place, but I already want to go back!

(mostly for Dippin Dots)

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