10 Reasons Why I Have A Big Lesbian Crush On Alex Vause

As a straight girl who’s recently discovered Orange is the New Black… let me count the reasons why we should all worship Piper’s incarcerated drugs mule ex girlfriend.

1. She makes wearing glasses look very, very sexy.

2. Her eyeliner is always en pointe, despite the whole being in jail thing.

3. Her snark has no equal.

4. She values brains in a woman.

6. She has good logic.

7. She has her cute moments of vulnerability.

8. She looks like she would be a LOT of fun to go out with.

9. She’s the best at freaking homophobes out.

10. Simply put, she’s a goddess.

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